MOVIE BRAT

Quickies - short reviews (Updated)

2012-01-19T02:14:00.000-08:00

These reviews originally appeared in my Facebook page and may be expanded upon when I have time. These are my initial impressions of the films below. If and when I select any for further analysis, I will try to be fair, and less emotional. For now, here they are in alphabetical order.

A

AN AMERICAN CRIME (2007) * * *

(Drama / Biopic / Horror)
D: Tommy O'Haver. Ellen Page, Cathleen Keener, Michael O'Keefe
R, C-97m, USA
Tagline: This has been the most terrible crime ever committed in the state of Indiana.

Based on the horrific torture and murder of Sylvia Likens (Ellen Page) in 1965, this movie shows how mother-of-four Gertrude Nadine Baniszewski (Cathleen Keener) becomes ringleader of a mob of children in the neighbourhood, including her own offspring. Despite Sylvia's screams in the basement, the neighbours dismissed it as 'none of their business', thinking that she was just being spanked for misbehaving. For truly terrifying reads based on this tragic case, I recommend Jack Ketchum's The Girl Next Door and John Dean's The Indiana Torture Slaying: Sylvia Likens's Ordeal and Death. I've read both, and cried for that poor girl's suffering. You will never see children playing in the yard the same way again.

ANIMAL KINGDOM (2010) * * *

(Crime / Drama / Suspense)
D: David Michod (Guy Pearce, Jackie Weaver, James Frecheville, Joel Edgerton)
R (drug use, violence, sexual scene); C-113m / Australia

Australian film about an orphaned 17-year-old boy finding himself in a family of criminals, including a scarily cheerful grandmother (Weaver, who seems to be half Bette Davis, half Ma Barker). Will be compared to The Town, but this is grittier and less Hollywood.

THE APARTMENT (1960) * * * *

(Romance / Comedy / Drama)
D: Billy Wilder (Jack Lemmon, Shirley McLaine, Fred McMurray)
PG (mature themes) / b&w-125m / USA
Tagline: Movie-wise, there has never been anything like it - laugh-wise, love-wise, or otherwise-wise!

Wilder directed this cynical but sweet love story about an weak-willed executive who is bullied into letting his philandering bosses use his apartment to take their mistresses. McLaine is an elevator girl that he falls in love with, unaware that she's seeing his boss. Won 5 Oscars, including Best Picture.

THE ARTIST (2011) * * * *

(Drama / Silent)
D: Michel Hazanavicius (Jean Dujardin, Bérénice Bejo, John Goodman, James Cromwell, Penelope Ann Miller, Missi Pyle)
PG-13 (for a disturbing image and crude gesture) / b&w-100m / Belgium/France

 Set in 1927 Hollywood, a silent film star fears that his career will grind to a halt when talking pictures arrive. Energetic and heartfelt, with old school technology and beautiful black-and-white photography. Fine for all ages, (provided they can read and don't imitate the crude gesture) and appreciate cinematic history. Loved it.

B

THE BAD SEED (1956) * * *

(Drama / Suspense)
D: Mervyn LeRoy (Nancy Kelly, Patty McCormack, Henry Jones, Eileen Eckhart )
PG (mature subject matter, off-screen violence) b&w-129m / USA
Tagline: For little Rhoda, murder is child's play.

Based on a hit play and novel by William March (the book is GREAT) about an 8-year-old girl who kills to get what she wants. Violence is implied, not shown. A little stagey, but there's no doubt that the evil movie child began with Rhoda Penmark. Both corny and disturbing.

BEVERLY HILLS COP (1984) * * * 1/2

(Action-Adventure / Comedy)
D: Martin Brest (Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, John Ashton, Lisa Eilbacher, Ronny Cox)
R (coarse language, some violence) / C-105m / USA
Tagline: The heat is on!

Fast-talking cop Det. Axel Foley (Murphy) leaves his precinct in Detroit for a "vacation" in Beverly Hills - to pursue a murder case, much to the displeasure of his captain and everyone else. Fun action picture with a great dialogue and an awesome soundtrack.

THE BIG CHILL (1983) * * *

(Drama / Comedy)
D: Lawrence Kasdan (Glenn Close, William Hurt, Tom Berenger, Jeff Goldblum, Mary Kay Place, Kevin Kline, Meg Tilly, Jobeth Williams)
PG (coarse language, some suggestive scenes) C-105m / USA
Tagline: In a cold world, you need your friends to keep you warm.

A group of college friends are reunited by the funeral of another, then spend the weekend talking, smoking pot, talking, evaluating their lives, talking... Sometimes funny and well acted, but a lot of people might find it slow. Great soundtrack.

BILLY ELLIOT (2000) * * * *

(Drama / Comedy)
D: Stephen Daldry (Jamie Bell, Julie Walters, Jean Heywood, Jamie Drven, Gary Lewis, Mike Elliot)
PG-13 (for language and mature themes) / C-110m / UK/France
Tagline: Inside every one of us there is a talent waiting to come out. The trick is finding it.

 In Durham, a small mining town in 1984, an 11-year-old boy discovers a passion for ballet and begins taking lessons in secret. Heartwarming without being saccharine. The language is pretty salty, but other than that, it's a family film, IMO. The trailer alone gives me the sniffles.

BLACKBOARD JUNGLE (1955) * * *

(Drama)
D: Richard Brooks (Glenn Ford, Anne Francis, Louis Calhern, Margaret Hayes, John Hoyt,  Richard Kiley, Sidney Poitier, Vic Morrow, Jamal Farr (later Jamie Farr in M*A*S*H) )

It was really hard to choose a tagline for this entry. They're all wonderfully histrionic:

A DRAMA OF TEEN-AGE Terror! (original print ad - almost all caps)

SHOCKING! (original print ad - all caps)

THE SCREAM IN THE SCHOOL ROOM! (original print ad - all caps)

A shock story of today's high school hoodlums!

I'm a teacher. My pupils are the kind you don't turn your back on, even in class!

The Most Startling Picture In Years!

This was very controversial in its day, and one of the first films to deal with juvenile delinquency (even though the "teenagers" are in their 20s here). Entertaining but dated -- some of the dialogue makes me howl. Sidney Poitier's first film.

BLACK SWAN (2010) * * * 1/2

(Drama / Suspense)
D: (Natalie Portman, Vincent Cassel, Barbara Hershey, Mila Kunis , Wynona Ryder)
R (for strong sexual content, disturbing violent images, language, some drug use) / C-108m / USA

Portman won an Oscar for Best Actress, deservedly so. A sheltered ballerina becomes dangerously obsessed with perfecting her role in "Swan Lake". Over the top at times, but it's scary and a lot of fun. The imagery is disturbing sometimes.

BLUE VALENTINE (2010) * * * 1/2

(Drama / Romance)
D: Derek Cianfrance (Michelle Williams, Ryan Gosling )
NC-17 (for a scene of explicit sexual content) C-112m / USA
Tagline: A love story.

Well-acted and affecting, but might hit too close to home for some. NOT a date movie. Through cuts and flashbacks, we see the beginning and end of a marriage between incompatible people. Neither is a "bad guy", but it's hard not to pick a side.

THE BOY IN THE STRIPED PAJAMAS (2008) * * * 1/2

(Drama / War)
D: Mark Herman (Vera Farmiga, Asa Butterfield, David Thewlis, Rupert Friend)
PG-13 (for mature themes involving the Holocaust) C-94m / UK/USA
Tagline: A story of innocence in a world of ignorance.

The eight-year-old son of a wealthy Nazi commandant befriends another little boy on the other side of an electrified fence near his house, not knowing what Daddy really does for a living. Their forbidden friendship has startling consequences.

THE BREAKFAST CLUB (1985) * * *

(Comedy / Drama)
D: John Hughes (Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, Emilio Estevez, Anthony-Michael Hall, Ally Sheedy, Paul Gleeson)
PG-13 (language) / C-97m. / USA
Tagline: They only met once, but it changed their lives forever.

Five high school students are forced to spend Satuday in detention in the library.  They start out as stereotypes (remember the brain, athlete, basket case, princess, and the weirdo?) and get to know each other as people as the day wears on.  It's often parodied, but I like this movie, though I think tomboyish Molly Ringwald was miscast as The Princess.

BULLITT (1968) * * *

(Action-Adventure / Crime / Drama)
D: Peter Yates (Steve McQueen, Jacqueline Bissett, Robert Vaughn, Norman Fell (Mr. Roper in Three's Company), Robert Duval (cameo))
PG / C-114m / USA
Tagline: There are bad cops and there are good cops -- and then there's Bullitt.

 A San Francisco cop is determined to find the kingpin who killed the witness in his protection. McQueen has screen presence, but is too stoic to be interesting in this classic action film. Bissett is gorgeous, but little else -- the one corny speech she makes almost made me lose my lunch. The story is rather ponderous and dull. But the famous car chase scene is memorable (McQueen did his own stunt driving).

C

CARMEN JONES (1954) * * *

(Drama / Musical / Romance)
D: Otto Preminger (Dorothy Dandridge, Harry Belafonte, Pearl Bailey, Olga James, Joe Adams, Diahanne Carroll, Brock Peters)
PG (suggestive situations) / C-105m / USA 

The famous opera Carmen is set during the Korean War, with an all-black cast. Dandridge sizzles as the tempestuous woman who seduces an innocent soldier and leads him to ruin. Lots of fun.

D

THE DESCENDANTS (2011) * * * 1/2

(Drama / Comedy)
D: Alexander Payne (George Clooney, Shailene Woodley, Amara Miller, Judy Greer, Matthew Lillard, Beau Bridges)
R (for language and sexual references) / C-115m / USA 

When a land baron's wife has a boating accident and ends up in a coma, he tries to reconnect with his two daughters, deal with his wife's infidelity (just HOW does one cheat on gorgeous George Clooney with Matthew Lillard?!) Set entirely in Hawaii. It was interesting to see how residents live, without the usual trappings of tourism. It's a beautiful, quiet place. The only part I disliked was the soundtrack -- Hawaiian music, all the time. Woodley is fantastic as Clooney's angry, strong-willed daughter. Funny, truthful, and not as depressing as you might expect.

DR. NO (1962) * * *

(Action/Adventure / Suspense)
D: Terence Young (Sean Connery, Ursula Andress, Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell, John Kitzmiller)
PG (some suggestive scenes, violence) / C-110m / UK
Tagline: NOW meet the most extraordinary gentleman spy in all fiction -- JAMES BOND, Agent 007!

The first film starring Connery as 007 superspy James Bond is somewhat slow in places, but still a lot of fun. It's easy to see why Connery is considered by many as the definitive Bond. More businesslike and deadly than the Bond I grew up with (Roger Moore) but still with a sly sense of humour. Andress isn't much of an actress, but she makes one of the most memorable entrances of the Bond girls. Also, the technology and chase scenes are quite dated, but there is still tension and startling, sudden violence. When necessary, Bond is coldly pragmatic, which makes him pretty damned scary.

E

EDWARD SCISSORHANDS (1990) * * * *

(Drama / Fantasy/ Romance)
D. Tim Burton (Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest, Vincent Price, Alan Arkin, Anthony Michael Hall)
PG-13, C-105m, USA)  

Tagline: Edward lived alone where he could hurt no one and no one could hurt him. Until the day the Avon Lady came calling... 

Now a beloved classic about a perky Avon lady (Wiest) who makes a housecall at a remote castle and discovers a most unusual young man (Depp).  Romantic, magical, funny and bittersweet.

EUROPA, EUROPA (1990) * * * *

(Biopic / Foreign / War)
D: Agnieszka Holland ( Solomon Perel, Marco Hofschneider, Julie Delpy, Rene Hofschneider)
R (sex and nudity, some violence) C-112m / Germany / France / Poland

True story of Salomon 'Solly' 'Salek' Perel, a young Jewish man who impersonates a Nazi soldier in order to escape execution. Harrowing and exhilarating war epic with occasional dark humour that only underscores the humanity of the people. This is one of those "triumph of the human spirit" stories that will stay with you. It would be a very good film to show high school students, along with Schindler's List.

EVER AFTER: A CINDERELLA STORY (1998) * * * *

(Drama/Romance/Fantasy)
D: Andy Tennant (Drew Barrymore, Angelica Huston, Melanie Lynskey, Dougray Scott)
PG-13 (for brief language and thematic elements)
C-121m, USA
Tagline: Desire. Defy. Escape.

Drew Barrymore is absolutely radiant as Danielle, a feisty young woman who defies the fate of fairy tale heroines and takes control of her own destiny. Angelica Huston is archly cunning as her evil stepmother.

F

FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE (1963) * * 1/2

(Action-Adventure / Suspense)
D: Terrence Young (Sean Connery, Robert Shaw, Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell, Lotte Lenya, Daniela Bianchi)
PG (for violence, suggestive scenes) / C-115m / US
Tagline: JAMES BOND IS BACK! his new incredible women! his new incredible enemies! his new incredible adventures!

Bond goes to Istanbul and encounters the usual gang of suspects. Some people consider this the most 'realistic' of the series (read: no outlandish character names like Pussy Galore or Oddjob, but it's also rather slow-paced. Titiana Romanova, the latest 'heroine' is not especially memorable. Bianchi was a former Miss Rome and runner-up for Miss World 1960, which explains why her voice was dubbed. I noticed that she was kind of stiff, but as eye candy for Bond, she does fine. Robert Shaw is good as Donald Grant, a big blond assassin with a fondness for the garrote. The scenery is gorgeous, particularly Venice (some reminders of the Venician rats from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (which also starred Connery as Indy's father).

Fans of Austin Powers will recognize the enumerated henchmen (Number 3 is especially entertaining). Certain chase scenes reminded me of old Hitchcock movies (esp. North by Northwest). It's okay, but not as action-packed as later films.

Note: First time we see the villain stroking an white cat, first time a Bond film had a prologue before the main titles, and the familiar "James Bond will be back in Thunderball at the end.

G

GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES (1953) * * *

(Musical / Comedy / Family)
D: Howard Hawks (Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell, Charles Coburn, Elliot Reid, Tommy Noonan, George Winslow, Norma Varden)
General / C-91m / US
Tagline: The Two M-M-Marvels of Our Age in the Wonder Musical of the World!

Two showgirls (MM and the REAL star, Jane Russell) take a cruise to Paris, with the conniving but sweet-natured gold-digger Lorelei Lee (Monroe) wreaking innocent havoc along the way. Russell is her sensible, wisecracking best friend.

GIGI (1958) * * *

(Musical / Comedy / Family)
D: Vincente Minelli (Leslie Caron, Maurice Chevalier, Hermione Gingold, Louis Jordan, Eva Gabor )
General / C-115m / US
Tagline: Thank heaven for Gigi

A fluffy musical about a young girl being trained by her aunt and grandmother to be a Parisian courtesan. Maurice Chevalier's aging rake character is a little creepy these days, but it was an innocent time when released. Caron is adorable and the songs are hummable. Won Best Picture. This beat out Vertigo?

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (2011) * * * *

(Crime / Drama / Action-Adventure / Suspense) 
D: David Fincher (Daniel Craig, Rooney Mara, Christopher Plummer, Stellan Skarsgard, Robin Wright) 
R (for brutal violence, rape and torture and language) / C-158m
USA / Sweden / UK / Germany

Long-awaited English version of the Swedish hit. Based on a bestselling trilogy of novels about an anti-social goth computer hack who helps a disgraced journalist solve a 40-year-old murder.

GOLDFINGER (1964) * * * *

(Action-Adventure / Suspense)
D: Guy Hamilton (Sean Connery, Bernard Lee, Gert Fröbe, Harold Sakata, Honor Blackman, Shirley Eaton)
PG (violence, suggestive scenes) / C-110m / UK / US
Tagline: James Bond is back in action! Everything he touches turns to excitement!

One of the best Bond films starring Connery. Any Austin Powers fan will see the source of many parodies in the latter franchise. This movie is a lot of fun: Over-the-top villains, including the elegant Oddjob with the deadly derby, Pussy Galore and her fleet of flying femmes. Galore is interesting because she's not anyone's moll. "I'm a pilot, and a damned good one" she asserts and is initially unmoved by Bond's flirting. Goldfinger could be a Batman villain easily -- he's eccentric, fixated on everything gold, cheats at cards and golf -- and is a really poor loser. He's hilarious -- and dangerous.

H

THE HANDMAID'S TALE (1990) * * 1/2

(Suspense, Sci-Fi, Drama, Romance)
D: Volker Schlondorff (Natasha Richardson, Faye Dunaway, Aidan Quinn, Elizabeth McGovern, Victoria Tennant, Robert Duvall, Blanche Baker)
R (nudity, mature themes, some violence) C-109m / US/Germany

In this cautionary tale, the Religious Right have taken over the world in a dystopian society. Most of the world has become sterile, so fertile women are kept as "handmaids" (sex slaves and forced bearer of children to keep the human race going). I liked it, but it's not for all tastes. Thoughtful, with some interesting ideas, but a little too restrained. Based on the novel by Margaret Atwood.

HUGO (2011) * * * *

(Family / Drama / Comedy / Adventure / Fantasy)
D: Martin Scorcese (Ben Kingsley, Ray Winstone, Sacha Baron Cohen, Emily Mortimer, Christopher Lee, Chloe Grace Moretz, Asa Butterfield)
PG-13 (for mild thematic material, some action/peril and smoking) / C-126m / USA

 Absolutely lovely adaptation of the children's novel, "The Invention of Hugo Cabret". An orphan in 1930s Paris lives within the walls of a train station. He endeavours to solve a mystery invaliding his late father (Jude Law) and an automatron. It reminded me of Dickens, as well Edward Scissorhands, Beauty & the Beast, Coraline, and others. Breathtaking cinematography. See it in the theatre.

I

THE IDES OF MARCH (2011) * * *

(Drama)
D: George Clooney (Ryan Gosling, George Clooney, Phillip Seymore Hoffman, Paul Giamati, Evan Rachel Wood, Marisa Tomei )
R (for language) / C-101m / USA
Ambition seduces, power corrupts.

An up-and-coming press secretary (Gosling) for a presidential candidate (Clooney) discovers the underbelly of dirty politics during his campaign. Whether you're into politics or not, just enjoy the fantastic performances and get sucked into the intrigue. Clooney looks good.

J
K
L

M

McCABE & MRS. MILLER (1971) * * * *

(Drama / Western)
D: Robert Altman (Warren Beatty, Julie Christie, Keith Carradine, Shelley Duvall)
R, 120m, Canada/USA

Robert Altman film about a gambler (Beatty) and a prostitute (Christie) who start a business in a desolate mining town and struggle to survive their environment. A character study that is darkly poetic and sad. And worst vacation ever. If I lived here, I'd probably kill myself. The west was a very dangerous, primitive place, especially for women.

MACHETE (2010) * * * 1/2

(Action-Adventure, Comedy, Pulp)
D: Robert Rodriguez (Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez,
Robert DeNiro, Cheech Marin, Jeff Fahey, Lindsay Lohan, and Don Johnson)
R for strong bloody violence throughout, language, some sexual content and nudity, 105m, USA
Tagline: He was given an offer he couldn't refuse!

Trejo is one ugly anti-hero, but has his own stoic brand of screen presence and the quietly coiled menace similar to those of John Wayne and Clint Eastwood. Danny Trejo, Jeff Fahey and Cheech Marin, who are featured in the fake trailer in Grindhouse (2007), reprise their roles for this film as well. Deliberately cheesy dialogue, flying body parts (often to hilarious effect), and lots of in-jokes make this a "party film". It doesn't pretend to be anything but a silly, bloody good time.

Anyone who enjoyed Grindhouse, Kill Bill, Sin City, or anything by Sam Raimi or Quentin Tarantino is likely to get a kick out of this. You know who you are.

MAD DOG AND GLORY (1993) * * *

(Comedy / Drama)
D: John McNaughton (Robert DeNiro, Bill Murray, Uma Thurman, David Caruso , Kathy Baker, Richard Belzer (cameo))
R (for sexual content, language, violence and drug use) / C-97m / US
Tagline: A cop who'd rather be an artist. A mobster who'd rather be a comic. And a woman who would rather be anywhere but between the two of them.

Shy copy Wayne "Mad Dog" Dobie (DeNiro) saves gangster's (Murray) life and finds himself the unwilling recipient of the crime boss's "friendship" and his "gift", a bartender (Thurman). I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this one. Beneath his genial demeanor, Bill Murray's Frank Milo is one scary S.O.B.

MARTY (1955) * * * *

(Drama/Comedy/Romance)
D: Delbert Mann (Ernest Borgnine, Betsy Blair, Joe Mantell)
PG, b&w-90m (94m in extended version)/USA
Tagline: It's the love story of an unsung hero!

Won Academy Awards, including Best Director (Mann), Best Writing (screenplay) (Paddy Chayefsky), Best Supporting Actor (Mantell), and notably Best Actor (Borgnine) and Best Picture of 1955.

A plain, lonely butcher despairs of ever finding love until one fateful night when he meets his possible soul mate. One of the loveliest romantic movies I've ever seen. Marty and Clara dance and hesitantly get to know one another. I usually hate stories that throw people together just because they're both unattractive, nerdy or whatever, just so their pretty friends (the starring leads) can be happy without feeling guilty. But this was done right.

Marty calls a girl and "gets the brush". When he closes his eyes in pain, I just want bake him a batch of cookies. The story of Marty and Clara's journey towards happiness is sweet, painful, and joyous. You just know the outcome, and look forward to it anyway.

MONSOON WEDDING (2001) * * * 1/2

Drama)
(some subtitles, some spoken English)
R for language and some sexual references 114m, India/USA/Germany/France/Italy  

Absolutely enchanting family drama about the frenzied preparations for an arranged marriage in India. It's very interesting to see what goes into preparing this elaborate ceremony. I loved the lovestruck wedding planner - he's like a clown in love with a princess (a shy young housemaid). Filmed in 30 days.

   MY NAME IS BRUCE (2007) * 1/2

(Comedy / Horror / Pulp
D: Bruce Campbell (Bruce Campbell, Ted Campbell, Taylor Sharpe, Grace Thorsen
PG-13, 86m, USA
Tagline: Fearless! Unstoppable! Ready For His Close-Up!

Silly but fun little goofball of a film starring/directed by Bruce Campbell, king of the B movies. Campbell plays himself as a jerky has-been actor who finds himself in a crummy small town called Goldlick. The locals mistake him for Ash (the hero of the Evil Dead movies) and expect him to save their town from a monster who's eliminating them one by one. Starts out strong and kind of peters out. Special effects are okay, not great, and the monster is not scary at all - the costume could have come straight out of K-Mart. For die-hard Campbell fans only - lots of in-jokes and a few cameos from the old Evil Dead movies.

MY WEEK WITH MARILYN (2011) * * * 1/2

(Drama / Biopic)
D: Simon Curtis (Michelle Williams, Eddie Redmayne, Kenneth Branagh, Judy Dench, Julia Ormond, Emma Watson)
PG-13, C-99m, UK/USA

 In 1956 England, young assistant director Colin Clark finds his life changed by his experiences on the set of "The Prince and the Showgirl" starring Lawrence Olivier (Branagh) and Marilyn Monroe (Williams). There is tension on the set, due to Olivier's frustration over MM's habit of tardiness and forgetting her lines. She's troubled, manipulative, and extremely lonely. Speaking as one who is sick to death of the question of whether MM committed suicide or was murdered, I was pleasantly surprised to see a fresh take of what it was like to make movies in the 50s. This is a slice-of-life, not a documentary. And it's a lot of fun, especially seeing Kenneth Branagh as a the temperamental actor/director. Based on the diaries of filmmaker Colin Clark.

N

NEVER LET ME GO (2010) * * * *

(Drama/Romance)
D: Mark Romanek (Carey Mulligan, Keira Knightley, Andrew Garfield, Charlotte Rampling)
R (for sexuality and nudity) / C-103m / UK/USA

This reminded me of Orwell's 1984. In an alternate universe, a British school for "very special children" breeds them for a simple, chilling purpose. Not violent, but still one of the creepiest films I've seen in years. Hogwartz this ain't. Creepy and sad, but fascinating. Based on the novel by Kazuo Ishiguro, which I now want to read.

O

OFFICE SPACE (1999) * * *

(Comedy / Crime)
D: Mike Judge (Ron Livingston, Jennifer Aniston, Gary Cole, Stephen Root)
PG-13 (for language, brief sexuality) / C-89m / US
Tagline: Work sucks.

Do phrases like 'team work', 'action items', 'TGIF', 'Sounds like someone has a case of Mondays!' drive you insane? Mike Judge directs this cult favourite that hit a nerve with office workers everywhere. The satire work culture is brilliant and true. Uneven at times, but when the jokes work, they hit bull's eye.

P

PLEASE GIVE (2010) * * * 1/2

(Drama)
(Catherine Keener, Oliver Platt, Amanda Peet)
R (for sexual content and nudity)
C-90m / USA

An upscale New York couple who buy and sell antique furniture (when people die, they buy the deceased's antique furniture for a song and then sell it in their upscale store. It's a humourous, painful, but real look at giving, how insulting charity can be if you assume the wrong person is in need. Shabby attire doesn't always mean 'homeless'.

THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE (1946) * * * 1/2

(Suspense / Romance)
D: Tay Garnett (Lana Turner, John Garfield)
PG, b/w-113m, USA
  Tagline: Their Love was a Flame that Destroyed!

This is an excellent adaption of the controversial 1934 potboiler by James M. Cain, which was banned for its frank depiction of adultery and violence. There were other adaptations, including the 1981 version starring Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange, but this is the best one. Though toned down for 1946 audiences, this tale of forbidden lust and murder is even more effective. There is so much restrained sensuality, from the hard-boiled dialogue to the Lana Turner's ironic white outfits.

Q

THE QUIET MAN (1952) * * *

(Drama, Romance)
D: John Ford. (John Wayne, Maureen O'Hara, Barry Fitzgerald, Ward Bond, Victor McLaglen, Mildred Natwick, Francis Ford)
General, C-129, Ireland/USA
Tagline: Action... Excitement... Romance... Fill the Screen!

Newcomer Sean Thornton (John Wayne, in one his most understated performances), an American ex-boxer, arrives in the little town of Innisfree to claim his birthright and find inner peace after an unspoken tragedy. Naturally, the villagers are suspicious of strangers, but soon warm up to him after he buys them a few drinks at the local pub. Two obstacles get in the way: The beautiful and fiery Mary Kate Danaher (Maureen O'Hara), a red-haired lass who catches his eye when she herds sheep in a field. And her brother, the town bully.

R

RADIO DAYS (1987) * * * 1/2

(Comedy / Drama)
D: Woody Allen (Mia Farrow, Seth Green, Julie Kavner, Michael Tucker, Dianne Wiest, Wallace Shawn, Danny Aiello, Larry David)
PG (language, some suggestive scenes) / C-88m / US

Woody Allen directed and narrates this nostalgic story of how radio entertained and affected the lives of a family and performers in the medium. If you liked A Christmas Story (1983), this might be up your alley. Funny, wry, and touching.

S

SHAME (2011) * * * 1/2

(Drama)
D: Steve McQueen (Michael Fassbender, Carey Mulligan )
NC-17 (for explicit sexual content*) / C-101m / UK

Very raw film about a troubled sex addict whose sister comes to stay with for a while. Interesting character study about a tortured man whose demons are only hinted at, never explained. He doesn't enjoy himself and can't form emotional connections with anyone. Despite being a babe magnet, he is very lonely. Hard to watch, but mesmerizing -- You'll never see Magneto (X-Men: First Class) the same way again.

SHERLOCK HOLMES 2: A GAME OF SHADOWS (2011) * * * 1/2

(Action-Adventure / Crime / Suspense)
D: Guy Ritchie (Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, Noomi Rapace, Rachel McAdams, Stephen Fry, Jared Harris)
PG-13 (for intense scenes of violence and action, some drug material) / C-129m / US

Sherlock Holmes (Downie Jr.) and Watson (Law) are back for another rousing adventure. I haven't seen the first film, so I wasn't sure what to expect in this interpretation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's creation. What I really liked was the clever use of language and repartee. It's a smart script.

I also like the way the supporting characters are shown to be as complex and interesting as Holmes. Watson is believably a man of action instead of merely a sidekick. Even his fiancee Mary is more than just a love interest. My only quibble is the Matrix-like warp-speed photography in the fight scenes (though it's fine as a way to show how Holmes' mind works)

I had some doubts about Jared Harris (who I only knew in AMC's Mad Men as milquetoast accountant Lane Pryce) as Holmes' arch-nemesis Moriarty, but here he proves his versatility. Harris looks like an unassuming academic, but cross him and run for your life. He's downright chilling.

SMASH HIS CAMERA (2010) * * *

(Documentary)
D: Leon Gast (Ron Galella, Floyd Abrams, Gilbert M. "Broncho Billy" Anderson, Joseph Basile
PG-13 (for language and nudity) / C-87m (some b&w footage) / USA

 Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis sued him. Marlon Brando broke his jaw. And he kept right on going. Documentary about "legendary" paparazzi photographer Ron Galella who stalked celebrities for that perfect shot, especially Jacqueline Kennedy and her children. He was tenacious and talented, but also a ruthless S.O.B. who didn't care about his subjects' feelings and wouldn't stop.

SOURCE CODE (2011) * * * * 

(Action/Adventure / Suspense)
D: Duncan Jones (Jake Gullenhaal, Michelle Monaghan, Vera Farmiga, Jeffrey Wright)
PG-13 (for some disturbing images and language) /C-93m / UK/France
Tagline: Make every second count.

 Brainy action thriller about a man who is forced to relive a train bombing over and over until he can figure out who the terrorist is. Sort of a mixture of Quantum Leap, Final Destination, and Groundhog Day... with explosions. Terrific!

THE SQUARE (2008) * * * 1/2

(Drama / Suspense)
Thriller from Australia in the same vein as The Coen Brothers' Fargo and Double Indemnity and A Simple Plan. A cheating couple plot to steal several 1,000's of dollars from a hidden cache of money stolen by her husband. Needed subtitles to understand the accents, but other than that, a very solid noir. Really enjoyed this.

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TAKE THIS WALTZ (2011) * * * *

(Drama / Romance)
D: Sarah Polley (Michelle Williams, Seth Rogen, Sarah Silverman, Luke Kirby)
R (for nudity, sexual situations) / C-116m / US

From the Toronto Film Festival (saw it at a local art theatre). Very powerful film about the dangers of emotional cheating. Comedic actors Rogen and Silverman easily keep up with Williams -- they should be remembered for future dramatic casting. This film made me angry (in a good way). I wanted to shake Margot (Williams) and demand how she could even consider cheating on Seth Rogen -- he's much handsomer and more fun than that drippy emo-artist. She was maddening, but a sobering reminder that people like her exist and simply want to self-destruct for the sake of change, even if they have a good life.

TANGLED (2010) * * * *

(Family / Romance / Action-Adventure)
D: Nathan Greno and Byron Howard (Mandy Moore, Zachary Levi, Donna Murphy, Jeffrey Tambor, Brad Garrett, Richard Kiel)
PG C-100/USA
Tagline: They're taking adventure to new lengths.

Loved, loved, loved this movie. It has everything, comedy, sharp dialogue, romance, adventure, even psychological villainy. It was derivative of several Disney classics (you'll recognize them), but I had too good a time to care. I recall my initial misgivings, but this was awesome. All-round satisfying entertainment.

THIEF (1981) * * * *

(Action-Adventure / Crime)
D: Michael Mann (James Caan, Tuesday Weld, Willie Nelson, James Belushi, Robert Proski, Dennis Farina)
R / C-122m / USA
Tagline: Tonight, his take home pay is $410,000… tax free.

 Michael Mann (Miami Vice, Collateral) directed this underrated gem about a professional safe cracker who makes the mistake of working for the mob, intending it to be his last "job" so he can retire and start a family. Caan is at the top of his game here. Proski as the genial crime boss has a chilling speech that completely destroys his grandfatherly demeanor.

TRIAL BY JURY (1994) * * * 1/2

(Suspense) 
D: Heywood Gould (Joanna Whalley Gabriel Byrne, William Hurt, Armand Assante)
PG-13 / C-107m / USA
Tagline: For one juror, the question of guilt or innocence is a matter of life or death… her own.

Neo-noire thriller about a woman who is selected for jury duty for a murder trial and targeted as the one to influence the verdict by using her son as leverage by the mob. Better than a lot of films of this type, with a few surprises. All performances are excellent, with stand-outs Hurt as a conflicted corrupt ex-cop and Whalley as a woman who discovers exactly what she's made of.

TRUE GRIT (2010) * * *

(Action-Adventure / Western)
C: Joel and Ethan Coen (Jeff Bridges, Hailee Steinfeld, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, Barry Pepper)
PG-13 (for some intense scenes of disturbing western violence) C-110m / USA

The Coen Brothers directed this remake of the 1969 John Wayne film about a crusty one-eyed US Marshall and a hard-headed 14-year-old girl who hires him to track down and avenge the murder of her father by a stablehand. It's a well-acted western, but I still prefer Clint Eastwood's "Unforgiven".

TUCKER AND DALE VS. EVIL (2010) * * * 1/2

(Comedy / Horror) D: Eli Craig (Tyler Labine, Alan Tudyk, Katrina Bowden)
R (for bloody violence, language and brief nudity /C-89m / USA
Tagline: Evil just messed with the wrong hillbillies.

*spoiler alert* - The trailer gives away a lot, so caveat emptor.*  Independent horror-comedy that became a sleeper hit. Will appeal to fans of the Evil Dead and Scream movies, as it turns all slasher movie conventions on their head. For one thing, the scary hillbillies are the heroes -- well-meaning and completely clueless about how terrifying they are to college kids on a camping trip. Gory but hilarious, and even kind of sweet.

TWILIGHT (2008) *

(Drama / Romance)
D: Catherine Harkwicke (Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner)
PG-13 for violence and some sensuality
113m / Canada/USA
Tagline: When you can live forever, what do you live for?

I've loved my own share of silly movies (mostly because I was a little drunk on the freedom to see whatever I wanted once I was old enough not to ask permission). Still do, actually - so I do not want to sound like a film snob (even though it's somewhat true :D), but those tend to be comedies and schlocky horror films, not romance. Once I hit my 30s, though, I began to want more substantial entertainment. I liked all kinds of silly novels as a kid myself, including the novels of VC Andrews and historical romances. Can't stand them now, but I see the appeal of perfect vampire love for young girls. Never get old, stay young and gorgeous forever with a handsome guy... who would turn that down?

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WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN (2011) * * * *

(Drama / Thriller)
D: Lynne Ramsay (Tilda Swinton, John C. Reilley, Ezra Miller)
R (disturbing images, fleeting nudity) / C-112m / UK / USA

Based on the bestselling novel by Lionel Shriver. Eva, whose teenage son went on a killing spree at his high school, tries to deal with her grief and the hostility directed at her by nearly everyone in town. Not gory, but emotionally terrifying and has disturbing images. I like evil kid movies as long as they're not too realistic (Village of the Damned, The Bad Seed, The Omen, Joshua). This one gets under your skin. Not recommended for expectant parents or sensitive viewers. This child is genuinely creepy and unattractive -- I could hardly stand to look at him. When it was over, everyone in the theatre was silent. It has haunted me for days.

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THE YEAR OF LIVING DANGEROUSLY (1982) * * * 1/2

(Drama / Romance / War)
D: Peter Weir (Mel Gibson, Sigourney Weaver, Linda Hunt, Michael Murphy
R (violence, suggestive scenes, language) / C-115m / Australia
Tagline: A love caught in the fire of a revolution.

A young Australian reporter's (Gibson), first assignment as a foreign correspondent is fraught with romance, intrigue, and peril in the political turmoil of Indonesia during the rule of President Sukarno in 1965. With the help of Billy Kwan, a half-Chinese photographer and dwarf, he is quickly disabused of dangerous idealism. Hunt won Best Supporting Actress for her portrayal of Billy Kwan. Beautifully filmed.

YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (1974) * * * *

(Comedy / Horror)
D. Mel Brooks. Gene Wilder, Marty Feldman, Madeline Kahn, Cloris Leachman, Teri Garr, Peter Boyle.
PG-13, BW-106m, USA
Tagline: The scariest comedy of all time!

Mel Brooks' parody of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein is his masterpiece. Filmed in beautiful, crisp black and white, this is a treat for the eyes. As to the question, Is it funny? that depends on your sense of humour. Almost anyone who sees a Brooks comedy knows going in that low-brow jokes were his stock-in-trade. Even at parties, he played the piano, but not with his hands.

For once Brooks' jokes don't wear out their welcome, as they did in Blazing Saddles (for this viewer anyway). There are sight gags, puns, slapstick, and they all work great.

When Dr. Frankenstein, Igor and Inga stand in front of huge castle doors, Frankenstein comments with wide-eyed awe, "What knockers."

The buxom Inga preens, naturally taking this as a compliment. "Oh, thank you, Doctor."

Dr. Frankenstein's grandson (Gene Wilder), who has spent his entire life trying to deny his heritage, inherits a creepy old castle and finds himself doing what comes naturally - mad science.

His assistant Igor (the bug-eyed Feldman) is ingratiating, yet winningly sneaky and steals the show. The shot of him posing alongside a row of brains will remind many of E.T. hiding in the closet of stuffed animals.

ZORBA THE GREEK (1964) * * *

(Drama)
D: Mihalis Kakogiannis (Anthony Quinn, Alan Bates, Irene Papas, Lila Kedrova)
PG (for occasional language, implied sexuality, violence) / BW-142m / USA / UK / Greece
Tagline: Life. Lust. Love. Zorba.

An uptight writer (Bates) visits Crete on business and meets the irrepressible Alexis Zorba. Zorba (Quinn) is gregarious, irresponsible and has a voracious appetite for life that hides his pain. The writer (Bates) is a humourless bore -- I wanted to smack him first for his dull personality and then again for his cowardice in a scene where an innocent person is mobbed because of him. Greece is a beautiful place, but this film would kill tourism. Lila Kedrova won Best Supporting Actress for her role as a dying prostitute.

THE BRADY BUNCH MOVIE (1995)

2012-01-07T00:56:00.000-08:00

* * *

D: Betty Thomas. Gary Cole, Shelley Long, Christine Taylor, Jean Smart, Michael McKean, Christopher Daniel Barnes, Jennifer Elise Cox, Paul Sutera, Olivia Hack, Jesse Lee Soffer, Harriette Mantel

PG-13 for racy innuendoes; 90 min. USA

Tagline: They're back to save America from the '90s

A better tagline would be, Put on your Sunday best, kids, we’re going to Sears! As an appreciative viewer, one definitely needs to have grown up watching the popular sit-com that ran from 1969 to 1974 and its awful sequels about a blended family to appreciate this gem. It also helps to have a healthy contempt/affection for anything from the 1970s. I have both, so I loved it. I remember those horrible tacky clothes from Sears and wanting long blonde hair like Marcia.

This time around, the Bradys are a 70s family completely unaware that they're living in the 1990's, and even less aware that they just aren't remotely cool. Gary Cole and Shelley Long (Cheers) are a riot as Mike and Carol Brady respectively, especially Cole, who steals every scene he's in as a pedantic, clueless 70s dad who practically holds everyone in the room hostage in order to drone today's 'lesson' as long as possible. We all know patriarchal windbags like this guy, and Cole just runs with it and scores a touchdown.

Also of note is Jennifer Elise Cox, who gives her Jan Brady a wicked, almost psychotic spin as the middle sister who tries so hard to be an upbeat Brady and smothers her rage over the blatant favouritism shown to vain airhead Marcia (Christine Taylor, a near dead ringer for Maureen McCormick).

Watch out for cameos of icons from the 70s - to reveal more would ruin the fun of discovering them for yourself.

THE KING'S SPEECH (2010)

2012-01-07T00:34:00.000-08:00

* * * *

D: Tom Hooper. (Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush, Helena Bonham Carter)  

PG-13 (for language), C-118m, UK/Australia

In this terrific film, Colin Firth delivers one of his finest performances as Prince Albert (formally known as King George IV), who reluctantly assumes the mantle of monarchy after older brother King Edward gives up the crown to marry American divorcee Wallis Simpson.

Even before that famous scandal, Albert still has to make speeches at public events. He has no desire for public life and only wishes to be left alone with his wife and daughters. Unfortunately, being a member of the royal family has its obligations.

It's painful to watch, because up close he is physically ill, actually choking. His audience waits for the halting words (which come out as the strangled sounds of a chicken), then looks away in embarrassment. All I could think was, "You poor, poor man."  

In this and other similar scenes, Albert is not simply a historical figure, but a human being in dire need of rescue. When his wife Elizabeth (the future Queen Mother of England) tries to help, it doesn't go smoothly. She seeks out the services of Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush), a part-time actor who tutors clients in his own home. She comes to his "office" as "Mrs. Johnson", so he has no idea who she is.

Elizabeth explains, "My husband's work involves a great deal of public speaking."

"Then he should change jobs," Logue retorts.

"He can't."

"What is he, an indentured servant?"

"Something like that."

Burdened by a near-lifelong stammer, Bertie is absolutely terrified of public speaking. Watching the agony in Bertie's face as he practically chokes on his words will bring back memories of all those bored, amused or pitying gazes we all endured at one time or another. His closest relationships were with nannies (except for particularly monstrous one) and his wife and two young daughters Elizabeth and Margaret. It's a miracle he even got married.

The chilly household makes the defection of King Edward somewhat understandable, especially in a scene that should have had the family holding each other. Imagine, having no real friends -- only paid companions. Having to control your emotions all the time, even in the privacy of your own home. Dressing for formal meals every day. Your leisure time is carefully controlled and regulated. No vacation from duty. With the exception of small moments between Albert and his wife and daughters, there is no outward affection. This family is not one who shared emotions or even supported each other in private. What a lonely existence!

Helena Bonham-Carter is wonderful here. She takes what could have been a dull spousal role and invests it with warmth and humour. She gently pushes Albert to do what he must without nagging or cruelty, unlike the rest of the family. There is a lovely moment in when they joke around in their car, like any other husband and wife, just being silly.

The relationship between Lionel Logue and his reluctant pupil is fascinating. We see the beginnings of a prickly relationship hampered by clashing personalities and different social classes. Bertie is still a prisoner of his upbringing, even when Lionel uses unconventional methods to convince him that within the walls of his office, he is safe from judgment and ridicule. Lionel has a secret that could lose the trust of his student, and a possible friend.

In a way, it reminds me of Annie Sullivan and Helen Keller. Theirs was a similar relationship between two people who met as teacher and student, then became lifelong friends. Like Helen Keller, Albert needed a dedicated teacher to bring out his potential, as well as build his confidence to become the leader that England needed at a time of crisis. It is also a beautiful portrait of male friendship. Highly recommended.

BEACHES (1988)

2012-01-02T02:02:00.000-08:00

* * 1/2

D: Garry Marshall (Bette Midler, Barbara Hershey, John Heard, Mayim Bialik)

PG, C-123m, USA

Tagline: The Friendship You'll Always Remember... In The Film You'll Never Forget

A thirty-year friendship begins at the beach, when rich kid Hillary Whitney meets child performer Cecilia Carol "CC" Bloom (by the excellent Mayim Bialick, who later became well-known for her role as the title character of the 1980s Blossom, and currently played the hilariously off-putting Amy Farrah Fowler in the comedy hit The Big Bang Theory). The girls live in different states, but faithfully write to each other well into their early twenties.

When they grow up and meet again, CC (Midler) is living in a dumpy apartment, delivering singing telegrams in a bunny suit between auditions. Hillary Whitney Essex (Hershey), now an uptight WASPy lawyer, has given up her pampered life to find her own path. Over the next decade, they bond, eat ice cream, have facials, and get to know each other even better, which may not have been the best idea. As life progresses, the girls grow and change. Hillary tries to be open-minded, but can't quite shake her snobbish upbringing. CC is to the point of obnoxiousness -- though her mother Leona (Lainie Kazan, who hilariously plays the interfering Jewish mother stereotype to the hilt) is far more abrasive. One scene stands out in my mind. Years later, Leona dials down the shrieking harpy routine in a scene where she tells her daughter her true feelings about her. It's painful to watch, and my heart broke a little.

Despite her rather oversized ego, CC is insecure about her looks, and constantly asks for reassurance about her talent. Her need for validation is exhausting for her family and friends, but understandable. There's a vulnerability under the tough showgirl exterior. It doesn't help when the more conventionally attractive Hillary is standing right next to her when she tries to flirt with a handsome stage director (blandly played by John Heard). They compete for the same man, but as soon as they talk it over, other problems arise, mostly stemming from class differences and jealousy of the other's qualities. CC is jealous of Hillary's beauty and intelligence, and even when she succeeds and earns her own fortune, she still has more money than class. Hillary is jealous of CC's talent and brash confidence, as it makes her extremely conscious of her own timidity of life. Through no fault of her own, she becomes a pretentious snob, thanks to her marriage to a humourless attorney who expects her to give up her practice to become a corporate wife. An argument in a Bloomingdale's department store takes an ugly turn, testing a friendship that was fragile to begin with.

To be honest, I have a problem believing in their friendship. They met once. They never grew up together -- so naturally reuniting in person as adults would be quite a shock. No shared school or camp experiences, which can bridge even the most different of backgrounds. Not even prison. They have nothing in common. Neither is particularly likable. The men in their lives are about as exciting as dry toast, so it is hard to care about their romances. Much of the viewer's enjoyment depends their tolerance of the CC Bloom character. Midler also co-produced the movie, and seemed to get the best lines and more screen time. She's a talented singer, but a little of her goes a long way. Both are terrific actresses, but I prefer them in other movies. They are both better than the material.

Beaches has a devoted fan base, but it's not for people who hate romantic comedies or "chick flicks". I don't generally enjoy this kind of film, but I'm glad I finally saw it. Lovers of Terms of Endearment (1983) and similar weepies will enjoy it. Personally, I thought it was too long and needed to edited - a half-hour trim would have helped a lot. There is a point in the third act when it would have been wise to end and roll credits, but it goes on for several more scenes. Director Garry Marshall likes to milk what are supposed to be emotional, heart-wrenching scenes, when it would be more effective to simply end as it began -- at the beach.

IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT (1967)

2011-04-09T11:56:00.000-07:00

* * * *

D: Norman Jewison (Sidney Poitier, Rod Steiger, Warren Oates, Lee Grant)

PG, C-109m, USA

Best Picture, Best Actor (Steiger)

Tagline: "They got a murder on their hands. They don't know what to do with it."

 After being falsely accused of murder, a black detective (Poitier) reluctantly joins forces with a bigoted town sheriff (Steiger) to catch the real killer in small-town Mississippi. What transpires next is a clash of wills.

Yes, the Gillespie character is a bigot, but unlike most of his fellow rednecks, he had the capacity to change. He has a temper, but isn't cruel for the sake of being cruel. He's a product of his environment. I suspect he may have been a KKK member in his youth, but age and being surrounded by idiots might have made him go, "Hmmm..."

Virgil Tibbs (Poitier) is awesome, but even he isn't perfect. Like the other cops, he wants a person to be guilty, simply because he doesn't like them. He's as prejudiced as Gillespie, but more cool-headed, which is a very good thing. His feelings get in the way, which leads to a potentially deadly encounter during an interview with a witness. He can be arrogant, especially to the town residents, simply because his quiet confidence and calm gaze is so unsettling. Sidney Poitier is so perfect here -- dignified, with only a flicker of rage in his eyes. I can't imagine anyone else in the role (there was a brief TV series starring Carrol O'Connor (Archie Bunker) as Bill Gillespie, but I can't remember who played TV Tibbs. Denzel Washington could probably do his own interpretation, but it just wouldn't be the same.

Don't let the dated cars and clothes fool you. Some things have changed for the better, but human nature and bigotry has always been an uneasy partnership. This film works as a police thriller, character study and social commentary.

DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944)

2011-02-06T02:48:00.000-08:00

* * * *

D: Billy Wilder (Barbara Stanwyck, Fred McMurray, Edward G. Robinson)

PG, b/w-107m, USA

Tagline: From the Moment They met it was Murder!

How could he know that murder could sometimes smell like honeysuckle?

Based on James M. Cain's 1943 classic novel, this sordid tale of an ice-cold housewife who conspires with an insurance salesman to kill her husband scores on every level. Barbara Stanwyck sets the bar high with her portrayal of a heartless femme fatale. She wasn't conventionally beautiful, but she's so compelling in personality and perverse sensuality ("That's one honey of an ankle bracelet."), that it doesn't matter. No one equals Phyllis Dietrichson, in presence and genuine evil, with a few exceptions (Mattie Walker (Body Heat, 1981), Bridget Gregory (The Last Seduction, 1994).

Perfect film. Even with the silly blonde wig, Stanwyck is the ultimate femme fatale. The dialogue is brilliant: sharp, cutting, and hilarious. McMurray wasn't known for his villain roles (except in The Apartment), but he's completely believable as a smart schemer who underestimates the ones who can really do him damage.

The latter even gives a sly nod to Indemnity's characters' names. E.G. Robinson steals the show as their unwitting nemesis. The script just crackles.

CHARIOTS OF FIRE (1981)

2011-01-05T12:51:00.000-08:00

* * 1/2

PG-13, C-124m, UK.

D: Hugh Hudson. Ian Charleson, Ben Cross, Ian Holm, John Gielgud, Dennis Christopher.

Tagline: With Wings on their Heels and Hope in their Hearts

This is a "nice", inoffensive film about two British track athletes competing in the Paris 1924 Olympics. Some people LOVE it for its message of good sportsmanship and standing up for your beliefs. If you're like me, you'll... enjoy some parts (esp. the iconic running on the beach scene), but be bored the rest of the time. There's no real conflict. It's just... nice.

I found the main conflicts of the story to be ordinary and easily resolved. One is that Scotsman Eric Liddell, a devout Catholic minister and

And worst of all, THIS beat Raiders of the Lost Ark for Best Picture?! *sobs* I know, action pictures don't generally win Best Picture, and it's a shame. Raiders is more an action movie - it's a classic. If Raiders couldn't win, then the other contenders would have been a better choice, IMO. Reds was well-made and probably deserved to win. On Golden Pond (maybe - haven't seen it). Atlantic City was good, but not "Best Picture" IMO. Perhaps I would have liked Chariots of Fire better if it hadn't won Best Picture - my expectations were too high, and I was looking for something that wasn't there.

That being said, Chariots of Fire is a polarizing film. Love it or hate it. Make the call.

THE AMERICAN (2010)

2010-09-11T15:12:00.000-07:00

* * * *
R for violence, sexual content and nudity, 105m, USA

D: Anton Corbijn (George Clooney, Irina Björklund, Johan Leysen, Paolo Bonacelli, Thekla Reuten)

This is a fantastic thriller in the spirit of Hitchcock and suspense films of the 1970's. George Clooney is Jack (notably without a surname), a lonely hitman hiding in Italy, waiting to carry out one last assignment before retirement. And everyone knows what a great retirement package the Mafia offers. This isn't the Mafia, but might as well be. In the beginning, Jack makes a casual, yet shocking decision that demonstrates his coldly pragmatic nature. And he's prepared to do it again, if with some regret. But there are no tears or railing against fate - he accepts the risks and deals with them. At one time, he had been at the top of his game, but time and weariness are taking their toll. He knows it's time to quit. After a disastrous incident in Sweden, Jack seeks out his boss/mentor, who advises him to stay low in a small Italian village and not to make any "new friends".

But this particular loner can't help himself. Despite his brusque manner, people sometimes seek him out, like the almost aggressively friendly Father Benedetto, who offers a companionship that's both comforting and unnerving. He appoints himself as Jack's conscience, even without knowing the details of his past. He also has a secret of his own, so he is not completely unsympathetic to a fellow human in conflict.

"You have done much sinning," he observes at one point.

"All men are sinners," Jack tells him, "Everything I've done I've had good cause to do."

"A man can be reached if he has God in his heart."

"I don't think God's very interested in me, Father," Jack replies.

"You cannot deny the existence of hell. You live in it. It is a place without love."

The two men respectfully disagree with one another, but there is a fragile bond between them as they share a meal and take walks together. Jack needs this connection, as well as the one he finds with Clara (Irina Björklund), a local woman he meets in a brothel, the only place he feels safe in meeting women. No demands, no questions.

This is not an action film so much as a character study with a sense of dread. But the tension is almost unbearable, with any sudden sound a "BOO!" moment. The stealthy, menacing way the camera follows our protagonist, it's like the viewer is an assassin as well, giving them a most uncomfortable point of view. What if he turns his head? Notice that I don't call Jack a hero - he's definitely too amoral to be heroic, but isn't evil in the sense that you'd expect. He doesn't seek out trouble or kill for pleasure. It's simply a job to him. One might suspect that he wouldn't be good at anything else, except tinkering in a garage. Not that he would spend all that time building cars. Maybe he'd build cool gadgets, like Q in the James Bond films.

For me, it was a very interesting look at a questionable profession. It's largely due to Clooney's no-frills performance that we see Jack for what he is. We do not need to see the path of bodies in his wake, or constant gore to know that he's very dangerous. We get a private tour of a hitman's existence and what it's like to constantly be on edge, trusting no one, let alone love. A gun in a woman's handbag - is it for protection or something more sinister?

Imagine even the most banal conversation -- it could be in code - or not. I thoroughly enjoyed the shorthand rat-a-tat rhythm of the dialogue between Jack and a beautiful female assassin (Thekla Reuten) as they negotiate terms for a customized weapon that is needed for a special job. They don't waste words. James Bond would have been all over this woman like blanket. How predictable. Jack treats her as a colleague -- polite, professional, and someone to respect as a potential enemy.

We get the feeling of Jack as an outsider - a not-completely detached observer - watching the human parade pass him by and know with some regret that he can never join them, or even visit for a while. Is redemption possible for him? Yes, but not quite in the way he expects.

NANNY McPHEE (2005)

2010-08-16T23:33:00.000-07:00

* * *

D: Kirk Jones: (Emma Thomson, Colin Firth, Kellie McDonald, Imelda Staunton, Derek Jacoby, and Angela Lansbury)

PG for mild thematic elements, some rude humor and brief language.
97 m. US/UK/France

Tagline: You'll learn to love her. Warts and all.

Very charming fairy tale fantasy about a widower with seven rambunctuous children and a mysterious, magical nanny who comes into their lives. Strong elements of Mary Poppins, The Sound of Music, and Edward Scissorhands, yet completely original. A whimsical, gentle comedy and veddy, veddy British.

MY NAME IS BRUCE (2007)

2010-05-06T00:56:00.001-07:00

* 1/2

D: Bruce Campbell (Bruce Campbell, Ted Campbell, Taylor Sharpe, Grace Thorsen

PG13, 86m, USA

Tagline: Fearless! Unstoppable! Ready For His Close-Up!

Silly but fun little goofball of a film starring/directed by Bruce Campbell, king of the B movies. Campbell plays himself as a jerky has-been actor who finds himself in a crummy small town called Goldlick. The locals mistake him for Ash (the hero of the Evil Dead movies) and expect him to save their town from a monster who's eliminating them one by one. Starts out strong and kind of peters out. Special effects are okay, not great, and the monster is not scary at all - the costume could have come straight out of K-Mart. For die-hard Campbell fans only - lots of in-jokes and a few cameos from the old Evil Dead movies.

PATTERNS (1956)

2010-04-02T15:36:00.000-07:00

1/2 star

PG-13, bw-83m, USA D. Fielder Cook. Van Heflin, Everett Sloane, Ed Begley, Beatrice Straight.

Tagline: Ruthless Men And Ambitious Women... Clawing For Control Of A Billion Dollar Empire!!!

That overwrought tagline should have been a warning.

I bought this because my mother requested it. Normally I love nostalgic films and have a good collection of all genres and seen and enjoyed movies from silents to contemporary. I love the old Twilight Zone episodes in the series created by Rod Serling, who also wrote the screenplay. There have been no negative reviews of this film anywhere - so I thought, sure, why not?

There are fierce defenders of this film, as I soon found out after posting my review on Amazon. Boy, did I hit a nerve (unintentionally). This film sure has its defenders. You'd have thought I suggested that newborn puppies would be a nice snack. Nevertheless, I found it incredibly boring and strident. Not only was I bored to the eyeballs, but I felt like I was being screamed at by my own boss. I have a problem with confrontations - absolutely hate 'em, even in fiction - though they are necessary to liven up the plot.

The characters were either All-Good or All-Bad - no nuances or shades of grey. The dialogue struck me as propaganda, not real conversation. The characters didn't talk, they either lectured or screamed at each other. The ending was ridiculous - I wanted to throw my popcorn and scream, "No WAY!"

The film quality was grainy and ugly to look at -- granted, it's an old movie, but it didn't age well at all. If it was such a great film, it should have been re-mastered and released to the public properly. It looked like a grainy old home movie. If you want to see an insightful, perfectly acted and realistic movie about business and office politics in the 50s and 60s (though Patterns was set in the mid-50s), see Mad Men on AMC. It hits the historical and emotional points perfectly, and just about anyone who went to work in the early 60s will attest to the authenticity of the show. Mom recognized several scenerios in Mad Men that she experienced as a young working woman in the 60s. Even The Best of Everything (a flawed film about an office in the 60s) was better than this dirge. I admire Rod Serling, but this was NOT his best work at all. Save your money and your time. I wanted both back afterward.

Romance is not dead - ongoing list of love!

2010-02-12T22:33:00.000-08:00

Here are some romantic movies (or else they have a strong romance in the story) - perfect for a rainy day. This is a mixed bag for various tastes. I don't love everything on this list, except for the ones rated 4 stars. I prefer old movies where the lovers are have terrible odds to overcome, like death (The Ghost and Mrs. Muir), ugliness (Beauty and the Beast, Marty), or Amishness (Witness).

For example, I was bored by Pretty Woman and absolutely hated Twilight, but realize that a lot of girls love it. They both did phenomenally well at the box office, but I didn't find them romantic. Pretty Woman was about a ruthless business man (Richard Gere) who rents "lovable" hooker Julia Roberts for a week and they fall for each other, but it left a bad taste in my mouth. He had too much power over her, and that bothered me. As for Twilight, but I just don't get the appeal of a vampire who keeps repeating the twelfth grade a million times and is basically a narcissistic stalker. He has no sense of humour and acts like he's doing Bella a favour by simply deigning to notice her. And he sparkles in the sunlight. Give me Angel (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) or Bill (True Blood) any day. At least they had some depth to their characters and actually graduated.

Please realize that this is just my opinion. And that I'm usually right. ;) Enjoy!

Coming-of-Age
Dirty Dancing (1987) * * *
Dogfight (1991) * * * *
Say Anything (1989) * * * *

Quiet Passion
Always (1989) * * 1/2
The Bridges of Madison County (1995) * * * 1/2
The Magic of Ordinary Days (2005) * * * 1/2
The Majestic (2001) * * * 1/2
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (2008) * * * 1/2
The Remains of the Day (1993) * * * *
A Walk in the Clouds (1995) * * * 1/2
A Walk to Remember (2002) * *
While You Were Sleeping (1995) * * *

Fantasy
Beauty and the Beast (1991) * * * *
Ever After (1998) * * * *
Lady and the Tramp (1955) * * * 1/2
The Princess Bride (1987) * * * *
Shrek (2001) * * * *
Tangled (2010) * * * *
Twilight (2008) 1/2

Classics
Anything with Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn

The Apartment (1960) * * * *
The Big Country (1958) * * * *
Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961) * * * *
Casablanca (1942) * * * *
The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1947) * * * *
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (1967) * * * 1/2
Hobson's Choice (1954) * * * *
The Importance of Being Ernest (1952) * * * *
In the Good Old Summertime (1949) * * *
It Happened One Night (1934) * * * *
The King and I (1956) * * * *
A Letter to Three Wives (1949) * * *
The Long, Hot Summer (1958) * * * 1/2
Love Story (1970) * *
Marty (1955) * * * *
Now, Voyager (1942) * * * 1/2
A Patch of Blue (1965) * * * 1/2
A Place in the Sun (1951) * * * 1/2
The Quiet Man (1952) * * * 1/2
Roman Holiday (1953) * * * *
The Shop Around the Corner (1940) * * * *
Splendor in the Grass (1961) * * * *
Wuthering Heights (1939) * * * 1/2

Foreign
Amelie (2001, France) * * *
Como agua para chocolate (Like Water for Chocolate) (1992, Mexico) * * * 1/2
Jeux d'enfants (Love Me if You Dare) (2003, France/Belgium) * * *
La vita è bella (Life is Beautiful)) (1997, Italy) * * * *
Le mari de la coiffeuse (The Hairdresser's Husband) (1990, France) * * * 1/2

Musicals
Gigi (1958) * * * 1/2
My Fair Lady (1964) * * * *
The Sound of Music (1965) * * * *
West Side Story (1961) * * * 1/2

Suspense
The Big Easy (1986) * * *
Body Heat (1981) * * * 1/2
Charade (1963) * * * *
Sea of Love (1989) * * *
Witness (1985) * * *1/2

Adventure/Epic/War
Atonement (2007) * * *
Brokeback Mountain (2005) * * *
Forrest Gump (1994, PG-13) * * * 1/2
From Here to Eternity (1953) * * * 1/2
Gone With the Wind (1939) * * * *
The Notebook (2004) * * *
Out of Africa (1985) * * * 1/2
Pride and Prejudice (2005) * * * 1/2
The Robe (1953) * * * 1/2
Rob Roy (1995) * * *
Romancing the Stone (1984) * * *
Slumdog Millionaire (2008) * * * *
Spartacus (1960) * * * *
Superman: The Movie (1978) * * * *
Somewhere in Time (1980) * * *
Titanic (1997) * * * 1/2
Water for Elephants * * * *

Urban/Modern Romance/Comedy
Annie Hall (1977) * * *1/2
As Good as it Gets (1997) * * *
My Best Friend's Wedding (1997) * * *
My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002) * * 1/2
Definitely, Maybe (2008) * * *
500 Days of Summer (2009) * * * 1/2
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) * * *
Love, Actually (2003) * * *
Moonstruck (1987) * * *
Pretty Woman (1990) * * 1/2
The Wedding Singer (1998) * * *
When Harry Met Sally (1989) * * * *
Working Girl (1988) * * *
You've Got Mail (1998) * *

AU REVOIR, LES ENFANTES (1987)

2010-02-03T03:22:00.000-08:00

* * * *

French ("Goodbye, Children") PG-13 for mature themes

C-104m. France, West Germany

D: Louis Malle. Gaspard Manesse, Raphael Fejtö, Philippe Morier-Genoud

Twelve-year-old Julien Quentin, a pampered mama's boy who has bed-wetting issues, meets and wonders about the new student - Jean Bonnet, a thoughtful, quiet young man with a deadly secret. A friendship develops between two boys that is remembered vividly from long ago by just one of them. It is 1944, and Jean (Raphael Fejtö) is just one of the three new students who are given sanctuary by Père Jean (Philippe Morier-Genoud), the headmaster of friar-run Catholic boarding school for boys. Julien (Gaspard Manesse) eventually discovers Jean's true identity and he means to keep it to protect his friend. Not even their academic rivalry, nor a shared crush on the school piano teacher (Irène Jacob) could make Julien betray his friend. What happens is much worse because there is no guilty party. Just a conscience that is walled in and crushed by an innocent impulse.

Julien and his sullen older brother François (Stanislas Carré de Malberg) are sent back to boarding school after Christmas break. Neither is eager to return, and no wonder. The rooms are dreary and crowded, especially the one-room dormitory that houses about thirty beds in plot-like rows. Everyday is freezing, and their uniforms consist of thin shirts and short pants. There is barely enough room for these rowdy young boys to run around - just a small cement enclosure - no grass to roll around in. It resembles a prison yard. All of the boys naturally find ways to cope by calling the monks "monkeys", playing pranks on each other, and knocking each other to the cement while balanced on stilts. Yet despite the discomforts of living in overcrowded conditions, there are moments of pure joy, such as an impromptu jam session between Julien and Jean on the piano.

Because good food is rare, these young boys endure hunger, and their jam, one of the few treats they do receive from home, is promptly confiscated because they are expected to share it. The lesson that the friars were teaching is understandable given the conditions, but is charity truly an act of generosity if someone in authority gives away your food without permission? It encourages sneakiness -- hide your booty from adult eyes -- instead of adapting the pride of sharing with your hungry peers. The frequently enforced fasting, one of the drawbacks of Catholicism, doesn't help - it simply makes them more determined to protect their food, let alone share it. No wonder the enterprising few are tempted to sell their goods to the black market, thanks to a school employee. However, it is this greed that proves to be their downfall.

We discover with Julien that Jean's last name is really Kippelstein and he does his best to blend in with the other boys. Problems arise when a trip to the public bath house has a sign that reads, No Jews Allowed. This is Nazi-occupied France, after all. For Jean, ordinary acts such as eating, bathing, and praying become small acts of rebellion to remember and honour his true identity. As the shadow of the Third Reich looms overhead, there is disquiet in the air, but life goes on as usual. Germans aren't necessarily the villains here. They are just working men assigned to do terrible deeds. Although there are no ominous trains headed to Auschwitz or frightened crowds of people being pushed onboard, the menace is ever-present, even on an uneventful school day. With groups of patrollers marching everywhere, coming and going and arresting as they please, it is a hair-raising prospect if Jean were ever to get into their line of vision.

Louis Malle wrote, produced and directed this film, loosely based on an actual incident in his childhood in a boarding school when he was eleven. It is no wonder that the story of Julien and Jean propels so naturally and inevitably to its inescapable conclusion. The film is as haunting as the memory of one morning in January 1944 must have been for Malle for all these years. You never know who is listening, let alone who can be trusted. It was a life of quiet desperation. One mistake could doom many.

Au Revoir, Les Enfantes is one of those stories that stayed with me. The best and worst of human nature, bravery in the face of certain doom, and hope is exercised, even in those so young. This attitude was expressed by Anne Frank, who died at Bergen-Belsen at sixteen: "Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart." Like Steven Spielberg's Schindler's List (1993), Au Revoir, Les Enfants is shown to high school students so the masses can comprehend how good people cope with such inhuman and unanswerable crimes. If Julien and Jean had been in such a lofty position today, they no doubt would have wept and walked each other home afterwards.

Also recommended: Spielzeugland (Toyland) (2007), which won the Academy Award for Best Live Short Film in 2009.

PRECIOUS (2009)

2009-12-13T16:11:00.000-08:00

* * * *

D: Lee Daniels; Gabourey "Gabby" Sidibe, Mo'Nique, Paula Patton, Lenny Kravitz, Mariah Carey

R, C-110m, USA

Tagline: Life is hard. Life is short. Life is painful. Life is rich. Life is... Precious.

I saw this at the Vancouver Film Festival in October. Wow. Precious Jones is obese, illiterate, abused... a survivor. Some harrowing scenes, especially with her monstrous mother brilliantly played by Mo'nique, but it isn't all misery. Precious knows that the only way to escape her situation is to finish school, thanks to a caring teacher. Co-stars Lenny Kravitz and an unrecognizable Mariah Carey. We had the privilege of seeing director Lee Daniels in person for a very interesting Q & A. There wasn't a dry eye in the house, but not because it was depressing, but because it was HOPEFUL. People of all races shared the experience of rooting for a disenfranchised young woman and wanting her to succeed. And even more amazing... nobody talked or misbehaved at all in the theatre. It was a respectful silence for two hours, then wild applause and a standing ovation. We were all together in this. This is a contender for Best Picture for sure.

ALWAYS (1989)

2009-12-08T01:49:00.000-08:00

* * 1/2

PG, C-122m, USA

D: Steven Spielberg; Richard Dreyfuss, Holly Hunter, John Goodman, Brad Johnson, Audrey Hepburn, Marg Helgenberger

Tagline: They couldn't hear him. They couldn't see him. But he was there when they needed him... Even after he was gone.

Steven Spielberg's modern remake of 1942's A Guy Named Joe doesn't really work as a romance in my opinion, but has very appealing performances. Pete (Richard Dreyfuss), a firefighting pilot who dies in a freak accident, saves the life of his best friend Al (John Goodman). His ghost has trouble letting his fiancee (Holly Hunter) move on with her life.

It's not a great movie, but definitely fits the criteria for "good corn". It's sweet, and you can't help liking these characters. Nobody is a true villain, not even Pete. He is understandably upset at being prematurely ripped away from his beloved Dorinda, let alone watching another man (especially one as handsome as bland Ted Baker (Brad Johnson) shyly approach her, even bypassing the opportunity to date the lovely Rachel (a woefully underused Marg Helgenberger).

But why can't Pete just go to the afterlife and forget about her? It seems cruel of the angel Hap (Audrey Hepburn in her final role) to force him to guide his replacement, not only in flying, but romancing his own fiancee. But he has to learn to let Dorinda go and to show his love by letting her move on.

In this humble critic's opinion, Little Miss Firecracker herself is just too much woman for a blank slate like Ted. Her reaction to this handsome stranger's attention is funny but true: "I just can't be with someone who looks like I won him in a raffle." When Ted stops being so stiff and does John Wayne impressions, she softens toward him. He's the perfect boyfriend - handsome, polite, attentive, and sincere. But it's when he starts reminding her of Pete in little ways (John Wayne impressions, donkey laugh, and a talent for aviation) and performs an act of heroism that she becomes intrigued.

All the leads are engaging, and I'm a sucker for movies about ghosts in love (The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, Ghost, Blythe Spirit). I usually can't stand Richard Dreyfuss's characters - as Dorinda observes, he laughs like a donkey. But he's very good here, though I liked him best in American Graffiti, Jaws, and Mr. Holland's Opus.

The dialogue is very 40s-speak; they really should have set this in the 1940s, like the original. I mean really: A 'contemporary' 80s gal named "Dorinda Durston"? Very corny but there are moments of sweetness, like tomboyish Dorinda's reaction to Pete's birthday present: a beautiful white evening gown, exclaiming, "Girl clothes!" and "It's not the dress... it's the way you see me.")

Also endearing is the way "alive" Pete adoringly shoos Dorinda out onto the dance floor to dance with their pilot buddies, cheerfully handing out towels for their grimy mitts (Dorinda: "Nobody dances with this dress until they wash their hands."). "Oh, boooysss... That's a-right! You a-wanna dance with my girl... you a-gotta wipe your hands... whoa! That's not a towel!"

The harrowing forest fires and flying stunts are something to see. If you don't care for the drippy romance, see it for the action scenes. I really respect firefighters, and this just solidifies it. They are true heroes.

Though it could have been edited to a shorter length as well as a host of other things I could think of, it's still worth catching on a rainy afternoon.

Holly Hunter and John Goodman work well in supporting roles, and even have chemistry with each other. To be honest, I would have been much more interested in Pete having to watch his best friend Al fall for Dorinda, and the complications that would have ensued. Goodman is a wonderful actor, and never gets to be the leading man in a serious romance. He's a big guy, but always plays even his comic roles with dignity - unlike most character actors of his girth, he isn't just the leading man's comic foil, but beneath the jovial exterior peeks something a little more thoughtful, even dark. Here he's very charismatic and fun, and has way more personality than the Ted Baker character. He doesn't get to do much, but steals every scene he's in. I could totally see the friendship between him and Dorinda grow into something else, and the guilt feelings that would plague both. Pete would be even more miserable, knowing that they never hooked up while he was alive, but still resenting them for going on as if he no longer mattered. But that's another movie.

This is an interesting take on the afterlife. It's not The Lovely Bones, but I enjoyed following the characters on their journeys - Dorinda's to accepting a different kind of happiness from the one she expected and Pete's to unearthing a nobility he never knew he had.

MY LEFT FOOT: The Story of Christy Brown (1989)

2009-12-08T01:13:00.000-08:00

* * * 1/2

PG-13, C-103m, Ireland/UK

D: Jim Sheridan (Daniel Day-Lewis, Brenda Fricker)

Tagline: A film about life, laughter, and the occasional miracle.

Daniel Day-Lewis won his first Oscar for this role, and Brenda Fricker won for Best Supporting Actress as his fiercely supportive mum. I was quite surprised to learn that she had borne twenty-two children (take that, Duggars!), though sadly, lost nine in infancy. This is a beautiful and inspiring story of Irish artist/poet/writer Christy Brown, who had cerebral palsy.

I first saw this wonderful film in the theatre with my friend Melinda in 1989, and again tonight on DVD. Still great, and I appreciate it even more, seeing the struggles of a brilliant human being who insisted on living life on his terms.

Besides, anyone who can block a soccer ball with his face is a badass in my book.

HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER (1986)

2009-11-07T16:25:00.000-08:00

* * * *

R, C-83m, USA

D: John McNaughton; Michael Rooker, Tom Towles, Tracy Arnold

Tagline: He's not Freddy. He's not Jason. He's real.

Michael Rooker plays the title character, a soulless murderer who preys upon victims at random. Unlike most movie killers, he does not choose particular types, like blondes, hookers, homeless people, executives, families, etc. All are fair game.

At least he doesn't play favourites.

After a couple of days of recreational mayhem, Henry takes up with Otis (Tom Towles), a dull-witted ex-con from his prison days. Otis is also a bad man, though several points lower in intelligence. He's mean, but weak without a leader. But when someone like Henry leads the way, he discovers a taste for torture and killing the innocent. He's a weak man who eagerly seeks out victims weaker than he so he can enjoy the temporary feeling of power. Together, they feed off each other's need for destruction. Becky (Tracy Arnold), Otis's sad sack sister, who is visiting after having run away from an abusive husband, can only hope she'll remain under their radar. Just watching them play house, with her doing the cooking and cleaning as if they're a normal family is disturbing. She is an example of what limited means, lifelong abuse and broken dreams can do to a person.

The gore is mostly off-screen and implied, but there's no doubt what is happening. Even the musical score is beyond creepy and hard to listen to - the jarring ping of piano keys just sets my teeth on edge. it's like a cold finger to the neck - with the nail filed to a point. And unlike most movies about serial killers, there is no mystery to solve, no clues to follow, and no one to unmask. There is one truly horrific scene of a home invasion that I cannot get out of my head, even years later. Fair warning - this is not a 'fun' scary movie where you can crack jokes at the idiocy of teenagers who wander around haunted houses and venture into the basement with a candle or a flashlight. Henry and Otis are not simply complex, flawed individuals. These are empty sacks of skin wandering the earth as human beings.

Michael Rooker, who usually plays sheriffs and good old boy types in supporting parts, is very good in this role and scarier than Hannibal Lector or Patrick Bateman (American Psycho), simply because he's so real and completely lacking in empathy or even introspection. He's not witty or colourful like a movie villain - he's simply there, snuffing out innocent people like bugs, without a thought before or afterward. You could pass him in the street and not notice him. This is a brilliant character study of a man with nothing to lose. He doesn't kill out of anger or revenge. The evil that he and Otis do is banal, more out of boredom than anything else, making it all the more horrifying.

THE STEPFATHER (2009)

2009-11-01T17:20:00.000-08:00

* 1/2

PG-13, C-101m, USA

D: Nelson McCormick. Dylan Walsh, Sela Ward, David Badgley, Amber Heard.

Tagline: Daddy's home

I saw this remake of the much superior 1986 version under duress. My friend's cat had died the week before, so, in an effort to cheer her up, I let her choose the movie. Silly me. I knew it would be bad, but would it be boring or campy? Happily, it was the latter. It was mediocre and predictable and so by-the-numbers, but I was not bored, because mentally heckling the screen is fun. I actually learned a lot.

*SPOILER ALERT*

1. If you're a single mother shopping with your kids at the market, let your kids run wild. If your little squirt runs into a so charming-he's-dangerous man who is clearly Stepfather Material in the aisle, apologize and allow the guy to give fatherly advice to your son, like "Women rule the world." Don't think too hard about this -- any guy you just met who puts down his own gender is a keeper. Follow this with helping him find the peanut butter.

2. Be open and friendly. Let him know that you're a great cook. Let your desperation show, but be flirtatious at the same time. It doesn't hurt to look like Sela Ward. Give a little slack and then reel him in.

3. Do not investigate his past -- that is just rude. It's private! You should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking this. Just because you're letting this new man into your house with all your stuff and your loved ones doesn't mean you should get to know him. That's what married life is for. Even if your well-meaning friends and relatives caution you that you've only known him for six months, invite him to move in anyway. Tell them he's made your life worth living again.

4. If your new love physically disciplines one of your kids, sternly let him know that this is not acceptable. Then have the two of them apologize to each other so you can be a happy family again. Never mind that your child is being forced to live with a bully. He needs to learn to go along to get along. Remember, your kid shares some of the blame. If he hadn't misbehaved, his new stepfather wouldn't have had to get rough.

5. When your strapping 17-year-old son returns from military school, confide in your handsome fiancee that he used to hang out with a bad crowd and get into trouble. Give him ammunition so he can help get the lad on the right track. Also, give him a list of your child's greatest fears.

6. When you sneak into your prospective stepdad's room to search for incriminating evidence, make sure you and your pretty girlfriend do it right after swimming, without drying off first. If you leave wet footprints in the hallway, don't worry about it.

7. If you're watching America's Most Wanted and spot a picture of a man who bears a strong resemblance to the handsome, mysterious stranger across the street, be sure to tell everyone, especially his girlfriend.

8. If you're waiting in the hall and talking to your wife's fiancee, and he disappears around the corner -- keep talking. Just...talk! Tell this stranger that you've checked the yearbook and that you know he's not who he says he is. Tell him you plan to do a background check. Be sure you give all this away when you can't see him. Why, he could come out anywhere to...tell you he's glad that you have him on run! Just because you have an advantage doesn't mean you shouldn't be equals. Again, that would be rude.

9. Never talk to those you trust directly. Texting, emails, and leaving important messages with that good ol reliable stepfather you have suspicions about is good enough. He'll make sure they get those messages.

10. In a raging lightning storm, make plans to catch a plane. Before you leave the house, if you hear a strange noise outside, investigate alone. If you see a patio umbrella floating in the pool, make sure you use a pool-cleaning net with a metal handle and then lean over the edge to reach the umbrella. Most importantly, be safe. Concentrate on what you're doing. Ignore all distractions like that guy standing behind you...

11. To reduce the thrill factor, send your younger kids to sleep at a friend's house. Then they won't get in the way.

12. If a knife-wielding maniac chases you around the house, run up the stairs to the attic with rotting floorboards. This is smart for some reason. After, what's good enough for Ali Larter's nutty stalker temp in Obsessed is good enough for you.

Not only is this not a bad film, but it's an educational one. Just so any wanna-be "Stepfathers" can stay out of prison -- as well as out of the tabloids and any more "Stepfather" inspired movies, I will show you how avoid making these mistakes. I have no scruples helping out felons, so long as it means one less bad movie. I like my bad guys smart. And my heroes less conveniently dumb.

How to disappear from the world and start over as a fresh human being:

1. Look good for your new life. Shower well, shave the facial hair, and pop out those coloured lenses. Make sure to pop in a different colour. Sooner or later, it could get all "Minority Report" out there!

2. Never allow yourself to be photographed, especially for work or ID purposes.

3. Never leave a paper trail. Cash only.

4. If you want a brand new family, a good way to meet them is the Cute Meet. Head to the local supermarket. There will always be an lonely/attractive widow or divorcee trying to control her kids in the aisles. Make sure you step in just in time to catch one of the little buggers before he knocks something over. It will score you points with Mommy.

5. It's also adorable to say, "I'm new in town and haven't learned where to find things in this store. Um... where's the peanut butter?" We gals just love projects like a guy who doesn't know how to take care of himself, especially if he looks like Dylan Walsh.

6. Be helpful. Offer 'fatherly' advice to the kid and reluctantly admit to the mother that you lost your wife and daughter in a car accident. It's much more socially acceptable than admitting that you left your family in prone, bloodied positions in the living room on Christmas morning. If the truth is ugly, tell a pretty lie.

7. Wait about six months, then move in. Attractive widows and divorcees with kids tend to live in the suburbs, complete with a swimming pool. Try to be a father figure to the little boy or else mop the floor with him.

8. Make sure you let it slip that you used to be competitive swimming, just like the oldest son in the family. Do this even if you two never do any swimming in a confrontation-to-the-death scene -- a movie called "The Stepfather" (2009) has a confrontation-to-the-death scene in the attic, not the swimming pool.

9. However, do not try to bond with the oldest son by giving him his own locker in your 'hideaway' from the family. He will eventually wonder what's in the other lockers, not to mention the padlocked freezer.

10. Keep track of your lies. If you refer to your dead little girl as "Little Michelle was everything to me," don't follow up a moment later in the same conversation with a comment about how much "little Lisa" meant to you.

11. After you kill someone, impersonate them on their cellphone to text-message their loved ones. Use it inside the house and keep that volume loud enough to hear in the next room.

12. Delete your internet history so people won't find americasmostwanted.com in the browser.

13. If the whole family is left defenseless and unconscious, don't finish them off. Let them wake up in a hospital on the way to a full recovery. Never ever see them again. Just start a new family that you can threaten to kill and just let live. Remember, you're a lame killer stepfather. And when you see this family, smile chillingly for the camera -- like Damien.

14. If you are serious about creating the perfect family, only to be so disappointed that you kill them in white-hot rage, then you should watch The Stepfather (2009) a million times until you've learned your lesson. If that doesn't work, then see the original 1986 version with Terry O'Quinn. If anything, you'll give your brain a much-needed cleansing.

GIDGET (1959)

2009-07-27T03:05:00.000-07:00

* * *

General, C-95m, USA.

D: Paul Wendkos. Sandra Dee, James Darren, Cliff Robertson, Arthur O’Connell, Yvonne Craig, The Four Preps.

Tagline: Watch out Brigitte...here comes Gidget!

This is basically a corny coming-of-age story, with a look at the social mores of the Eisenhower era. It’s fun, silly, innocent, and the best of the “Gidget” movies, bar none. I couldn’t bear to sit through those, even for a few minutes. Yet I love this movie for its kitchiness - it's like looking at old photographs and smiling at the silly hairdos, and thinking, "Wow, we looked so dorky. Wonder what the old gang is doing now?"

It’s the summer of ’59 and Francie Lawrence (an annoyingly perky Sandra Dee) is sixteen, petite, as one character puts, "practically pushing seventeen!" She’s an only child, doted on by her well-to-do parents Russell and Dorothy (Arthur Kennedy and Mary La Roche). Her friends (including one ambiguous female nicknamed "B.L." (for Betty Louise) and Yvonne "Batgirl" Craig) are all boy-crazy and she reluctantly lets herself get dragged on a ‘man hunt’.

“She just has to make it this summer!” one girl squeals.

"Oh, poor Francie. Back to senior year with nothing to show for it!” The girlfriends pose and preen on the sand, waiting for the guys to notice them. Francie keeps 'ruining the picture', whatever that means. She has no figure to speak of, which is a running joke.

The male surfers don’t want a girl around. “This beach is for surfers only, not dames.”

"Oh, I’m not a dame…” she protests.

Rather alarmingly, they cluster around her. “Well, it has all the earmarks of a dame.”

One leers at her flat chest, “Those aren’t ears.” Ugh.

The manhunt is declared a 'dry run'. “Say, let’s go to Santa Barbara, but without the papoose in tow.”

She realizes that her presence is unwanted and opts to go swimming on her own instead of continuing the manhunt.

“Francie, you’ve always been part of a foursome!” Patti, one of her friends reproaches in a half-hearted attempt to include her. “You’ll be an outcast, out in the cold!”

"It's already happened, Patti. I just don't fit in anymore."

I really detested her so-called 'friends'. They’re catty, shallow, and just plain horrible. I know they’re only characters, but I get the feeling that there is some basis in reality for this portrayal, given the time they’re living in. We've all met the kind of women they grow up to become.

Despite her declaration that she's a 'real good swimmer', Francie nearly drowns twice and has to be rescued by Moondoggie, one of the surfers. As he guides them back to the beach on his surfboard, they encounter a big wave and the thrill makes her forget that she almost drowned. As most of us know, he will be her first love and have to suffer through four bad sequels and a TV series and Gidget will be a different girl every time. The poor guy starts with Sandra Dee and somehow finds himself with Deborah Whalley and Sally Field before she became a flying nun. After the rescue, she meets the guys who jeered at her earlier: Hot Shot, Stinky, Loverboy, Waikiki, Lord Byron. The leader, dubbed the Big Kahuna (Hawaiian for 'chief'), is a good-looking older guy in his thirties. They're wholesome beach bum types, though hoodlums by Eisenhower standards, meaning those of Francie's stuffy father.

Her love interest, Moondoggie (James Darren) is a wannabe, a trust fund brat who ditches college because, in his words, he can’t measure up to the old man. His man-crush on Kahuna is pretty laughable, though I suppose the latter is supposed to be a father figure – one who doesn’t make demands.

Bitten by the surfing bug, Francie begs for early birthday money to buy a used board and then devotes herself to learning the sport. The guys nickname her ‘Gidget’ (meaning ‘girl midget) and she becomes their mascot. The ‘initiation’ is pretty rough: Moondoggie, though somewhat nicer to her than the others, nearly drowns the poor kid, shoving her head underwater to cut kelp. It’s a very sadistic scene. She barely has time to gulp some air before he forces her head down again. I felt sick watching it. Through a few surfy misadventures, Moondoggie develops protective feelings toward her, much against his will. When he begins to acknowledge his feelings, it's patronizing. "A girl like you is a lot of responsibility." I felt like saying, "Gee whiz. Like a puppy?"

Eventually, Gidget practices on her own and learns the Ways of the Surfer. "Surfing is out of this world. You can't imagine the thrill of the shooting the curl. It positively surpasses every living emotion I've ever had!" It's this enthusiasm that makes this kid sparkle. The only character to treat her with some respect is Kahuna (Cliff Robertson), meaning he doesn’t make fun of her like the others. The other guys worship him, especially Moondoggie, who constantly says things like, “We’re two of a kind, the Kahuna and me!” Yep, total man-crush.

Later we discover that Kahuna isn’t what he seems, and in bid to make Moondoggie jealous, Gidget gets in way over her head when Kahuna almost forgets that “it’s just a game.” In some ways, he’s the most interesting character in the movie. He’s not a bad man, but a weary one. He enjoys his position as alpha dog to a point, but knows that at the end of the summer, he’ll have to move on to the next beach or grow up. Part of the burden is the gang’s adulation – how does a guy live up to his own reputation when it’s not who he is? Or wants to be? Gidget gets him thinking, which echoes the words of her grandmother’s sampler: A real woman brings out the best in a man. Old-fashioned, but in some ways true. It could apply to anyone. Why not replace ‘woman’ with ‘parent’ and ‘man’ with ‘child’? I’m sure there are other variations of someone bringing out the best in another person. Still, too bad Kahuna was too old for her. I’d take him over everyone else in this movie.

Her mother is a good listener, though her advice is definitely geared to steer Gidget on the road to happy housewife. Mary La Roche gives a sly performance, giving the 50’s Mom role more spin than another actress would. She’s understanding and supportive, without being a blankly smiling Stepford wife. Arthur Kennedy (also in 1955’s Picnic) is a doting, but clueless father who needs his wife to calm him down during Gidget’s antics. He just wants his daughter to date the ‘right kind of boy’ – hence his constant hints of fixing her up with the dull son of a colleague. When Gidget eagerly tells her about the ‘crew’ and Moondoggie, Mom fishes gently, “And is he the one you like best?”

Poor Gidget just isn’t ready to date, despite a dubious ‘happy ending’. Her ‘coming-of-age’ is forced upon her through shunning (by her girlfriends) and gentle pressure from her well-meaning parents, leading to her desperation to be accepted before senior year. Kids develop at different rates, and I don't believe anyone should be pushed into adult situations, no matter how old they are physically. If they're emotionally fragile, the results could be disastrous.

But this sunny film has its dark side, which is unusual for films of this genre and time. At first glance, it's a silly beach party film like the ones Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon used to frolic in, but the subtext beneath the insipid dialogue shows what Hollywood wanted society to be. Feminism was barely existent in films, but some tried. And probably got rewritten in order to force a 'happy ending', in case some impressionable young girl got "ideas" and strayed from the path of wife and motherhood. And make sure that those crazy kids didn't find living on the beach too attractive. Otherwise, they might quit school, tear up their rich daddy's cheque of $150.00, and call themselves "Moondoggie". Oh, those hooligans...

Everyone treats her like crap; even her own parents insult her. Russell, her father, watching Francie approach the house in her soggy bathing gear, asks doubtfully, “That’s a ‘manhunter’?”

Dorothy, her mother retorts, “What did you expect? Kim Novak?”

Francie: Gee, thanks, Mom and Dad. Love you, too. By the way, why don't you take a look at these brochures? These places have the cutest names, don't you think? Sunnyrest, Shady Oaks, Sunset Manor...

Gidget and 1986's Dirty Dancing are so similar that I wonder if the former inspired the other. Both feature gawky young girls coming of age, learning to surf and dance, respectively. Their names are similar (Francie "Gidget" Lawrence and Frances "Baby" Houseman). They're both denied access to groups (because of Gidget's immaturity and Baby's social position). Only Gidget doesn't have Patrick Swayzie to back her up when she gets put in the corner. The novel by Frederick Kohner is a better, more thoughtful story. Based on the real-life adventures of his teenaged daughter and embellished for dramatic purposes, the novel was described as a "Catcher in the Rye for girls". I read it, and was surprised to find that it wasn’t far off the mark. The novel - originally entitled, Gidget, the Little Girl with Big Ideas - is more realistic, and I found her teenage slang both quaint and charming. I love the beatnik lingo: "Creamy!" (for wonderful) and lines like, "Pretend you're real gone over me. Gimme the mad rush." Man, I wish I could say stuff like that without getting a blank stare.

I also prefer the way she handled being fought over by two guys in the book. Instead of sticking around to see who ‘wins’ her (like most movies are wont to do), she grabs her board and shoots the curl, ignoring everyone’s shouts, completely absorbed in the perfect wave.

Give 'em the finger, kid. Nobody puts Gidget in the corner.

Review Archives (updated)

2009-07-26T01:37:00.000-07:00

Articles (2)
Comedy: Do you take it black?
Cool Broads

Movie Reviews (26)

Action-Adventure
Machete (2010) * * * 1/2

Animation
Aristocats, The (1970) * * 1/2
Up (2009) * * * *

Comedy
Blazing Saddles (1974) * * 1/2
The Brady Bunch Movie (1995) * * *
Hangover, The (2009) * * * 1/2
Please Give (2010) * * * 1/2
School of Rock (2003) * * * 1/2

Cult
My Name is Bruce (2007) * 1/2

Drama
Beaches (1988) * * 1/2
Chariots of Fire (1981) * * 1/2
The King's Speech (2010) * * * *
Precious (2009) * * * *

Fantasy
Nanny McPhee (2005) * * *
Northfork (2003) * * * *

Foreign
Au Revoir, Les Enfantes (1987/French) * * * *

Horror
Drag Me to Hell (2009) * * * *
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986) * * * *

Romance
Always (1989) * * 1/2
Gidget (1959) * * *

Suspense
An American Crime (2007) * * *
American, The (2010) * * * *
Double Indemnity (1944) * * * *
In the Heat of the Night (1967) * * * *
The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946) * * * 1/2
The Square (2008) * * * 1/2
The Stepfather (2009) * 1/2

Westerns
Duel in the Sun (1946) * * *

NORTHFORK (2003)

2009-07-23T01:06:00.000-07:00

* * * *

PG-13 (brief, blink-and-you-miss-it sexuality), C-103m, USA

D: The Polish Brothers. Peter Coyote, Anthony Edwards, Duel Farnes, Daryl Hannah, Kyle MacLachlin, Nick Nolte, Mark Polish, James Woods)

There is no tagline for the movie poster. Instead, film critic Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times is quoted on it: “A masterpiece! A visionary epic!”

He is so right.

This gentle, whimsical film only ran for one week in theatres, but word of mouth saved it from obscurity. Some movies are so understated and special that they don’t get the audience they deserve, especially in a culture bred on fast food and reality television. This was shown to me on video a few years ago, and I admit that I did not get it the first time. Maybe I wasn’t in the mood. It took three viewings for its magic to work on me, and I am not a patient woman. Some films do require that you be in the mood, free of distractions so you can focus. They demand that you pay attention, which isn’t many people’s idea of entertainment - certainly not mine. At first, I thought it was pretentious and slow. But some things are worth the effort in order to reap the rewards. You cannot be in a rush to appreciate beautiful landscapes, taciturn dialogue, or even meaningful silences. It’s like setting out to fish on the lake or hiking in the woods. The less people around, the sharper your senses become, because it’s simply you and Nature. If you take a deep breath and savour the aroma of a delicious broth and sip it slowly instead of guzzling it, you’ll enjoy it more.

Northfork is a fable based on a real-life incident in 1955. A dam has been built, and the residents of a Montana town must evacuate for higher ground before they get flooded. They also must dig up their graves and relocate their cemetery. The town is almost completed deserted, with the exception of four households. It is the duty of six men in somber black suits to evacuate each home before the dam bursts and wipes out everything. There are several sub-plots that interweave and knit together. I won’t bore you with the details – this should not be described – you’ll probably think I’m on crack if I even try. It is something to experience and savour firsthand, preferably in a dark room and on as large a TV as you can get your grubby little hands on. If you must, steal one. Also, watch it alone, if possible. Unless they’re serious movie geeks, don’t let them come within a hundred feet of your TV for at least two hours. Like beautiful music, it takes silence to appreciate this film.

This was supposed to be my first review when I started this movie blog. At first I paid attention, pen poised to scribble down notes. Over a few moments, something shifted. When I saw a coffin bob to the surface of a lake, I was intrigued, and in a few moments, my hand hovered over the page, perfectly still. It reminded me of Henri Rousseau’s The Sleeping Gypsy. There are many arresting images like this one. For example, the iconic image of a Buick and an ark on stilts is positively surreal.

A depressed Walter O’Brien (a very subdued James Woods), sits in his car, remembering his life about twenty years ago as a young newlywed, holding his beloved wife in his arms – they seem to be flickering images in an old silent film. It is a lovely moment – wistful and sad. Older widows and widowers must have moments like these in real life. It’s hard to imagine your grandparents with weathered faces and tired bodies being in love – but of course, they were. At least I hope so. Grandma and Grandpa were not always old and frail, and if they were lucky, they had ‘those’ feelings for each other. After a few moments, Walter shakes himself out of his reverie and starts the car. He has a job to do, and a special quest… perhaps something to do with the floating coffin?

In his final church service, Father Harlan (Nick Nolte) tells his dwindling congregation, "It all depends on how you look at it –we are either halfway to heaven or halfway to hell." In another part of town, a young couple drives to the orphanage on their way to evacuation. Eight-year-old Irwin, their adopted son, is deathly ill, and cannot travel. Father Harlan greets them and helps the man place the boy on the only cot left in the dormitory, with the sobbing wife following them. In his office, they ask him to keep him. This is obviously the husband’s idea, and it’s not a temporary arrangement. To them, a sick child is defective. All the doctors have left Northfork, so the kid doesn't even get proper medical care.

The priest can barely contain his shock at their callous pragmatism. “You're returning him, then?”

They are ashamed, but not enough to change their minds. “We apologize, Father.”

He says evenly, “We appreciate your honesty, and will ask for forgiveness.”

“Forgiveness? Let's be honest, Father. You gave us a sick child.”

“I gave you an angel!”

If he were a different kind of man, Nick Nolte, er, Father Harlan would snap this guy over his knee like a piece of balsa wood. But, this is a kinder, gentler Nick Nolte, so he lets them live. After they leave, he resigns himself to making the boy’s final days bearable. He nurses him, puts him back into bed when he falls out, and gets attached despite himself. He is more than just a priest doing his duty to comfort the sick. In every way but biologically, he is the boy’s true father. It is a truly beautiful sight to see this gentle giant take care of Irwin and standing guard over him. And when another couple seeks to adopt him, he refuses to even let them meet him. In Irwin's state, raising his hopes and dashing them will definitely kill him; so even the chance that they might decide to get him out of harm’s way isn’t even worth it. If he’s dying anyway, it might as well be in familiar surroundings, with someone who actually loves the child.

In his sickbed, Irwin has his own quest. In a feverish state, he wanders away from Father Harlan and Northfork and finds a motley crew of angels in various costumes of the past eras: Flower Hercules (Daryl Hannah) a hermaphrodite in Elizabethan costume, and Cod, a silent cowboy (Ben Foster), to list a couple. But they too, are seeking something – The Unknown Angel, waiting for him to arrive so they can move on. Irwin believes that he himself is an angel kidnapped by humans, and even shows them the scars on his shoulder blades, where the feathers had been. He begs them to take him with them, but alas, they do not take children.

As he slips in and out of consciousness, so do we. Irwin's journey is like a trip to Oz, after all the Munchkins have deserted the place. Only a few colourful characters have remained, and they view the outside world with suspicion, perhaps because they've seen too much. Are they real, or figments of Irwin’s imagination? You could choose either answer and still be right. They may reside inside his head, but by the end, they are definitely real. The photography is simply amazing. According to the directors, this film was shot in colour, with grey added for texture.The editing is flawless, and strategically transitions between muted colour and black-and-white. This is an Edward Hopper painting come to life.

Who will enjoy it? I'd say that it would appeal to fans of The Coen Brothers (especially O Brother, Where Are Thou? and The Hudsucker Proxy). And it will likely entertain people who enjoy puns and clever wordplay. Anyone else, probably not.

For example:

The town is dammed (damned)

Onboard the ark: “We’re all in the same boat.”

One stubborn cuss named Mr. Stalling builds an ark, rounding up two of everything, including two wives. James Woods is bemused by this: (“you must be Mrs. Stalling, and you must be, um, Mrs. Stalling...”)

When Walter is talking to his son Willis, he asks, "What are you talking about, Willis?”

And perhaps the most important statement of all is made by one of the men assigned to move people to higher ground: "It's our job to move people, not change their beliefs."

All performances are understated and perfect. Nick Nolte, James Woods and young Duel Farnes are especially good here. Woods doesn’t act like his patented psycho, and surprise, surprise! Nolte doesn’t leave a growing body count. Farnes, who plays the deathly ill Irwin is excellent – it’s hard to believe that he had never acted before. He’s not a precocious Movie Kid – he doesn’t mug for the camera or scream, slap both cheeks or bug out his eyes. He is not revoltingly cute. This is a real child and my rare maternal instincts kicked in – I just wanted to give him chicken soup – with a little help from Campbell’s, of course. Hey, it’s the thought that counts.

There is Christian imagery throughout, but not in an off-putting, preachy way. It’s not disrespectful, and non-religious people can enjoy it too. The weekly Catechism classes I was forced to attend until grade seven came in handy. It was actually fun to spot various biblical references. There are lonesome tableaux, iconic images of men in suits and fedoras - again, an Edward Hopper painting. Similar images from The Matrix and Dark City comes to mind.

Sadness and joy - Northfork celebrates life, and eases the passage into the afterlife. As one character puts it, “Remember when you leave to pack all your good memories. No one else will pack them for you.” Despite melancholy situations and impending disaster, this is not a depressing film. On the contrary, I found it quietly uplifting. It reminded me of an old Twilight Zone episode where an old woman is so frightened of Mr. Death that she's sure she knows what he'll look like, and refuses to leave the house in case he's out there, waiting. We learn here, as well, that Death is not always a bogeyman to be feared. Sometimes it holds your hand and gently guides you to the other side.

SCHOOL OF ROCK (2003)

2009-07-07T02:22:00.000-07:00

* * * 1/2

PG-13 (rude humour and some drug references), C-108m. USA, Germany

D: Art Linklater. Jack Black, Joan Cusack, Mike White, Sarah Silverman.

Tagline: Mr. Black. Accept no substitute.

If you see just one Jack Black film in your entire life, make it School of Rock. He simply lets the beast loose and gives a blistering performance as Dewey Finn, an overweight musician who eats, drinks, and breathes rock-and-roll. He's a slacker who doesn't pay rent and allows his friend and room mate to pay his share, shows up late for rehearsals, hogs the spotlight, and cheerfully goes along his merry way without considering boring things like rent, bills, or responsibility. That's for drones, dude. He's a creature of the moment. It's not that he's a bad person - he just has better things to do... like rock out! He dreads the idea of a "real" job; to him, that's selling out, man. Giving up what he loves is like giving up oxygen.

Dewey's passion for rock is so all-consuming that when it's timidly suggested that he sell one of his guitars to pay the rent, he asks incredulously, "Would you tell Picasso to sell one of his guitars?"

After one drunken grandstanding stunt too many, he gets the old heave-ho from his own band. Room mate Ned Schneebly (Mike White, who wrote the screenplay especially for Black, who does vocals and guitar for the rock band Tenacious D), a milquetoast substitute teacher, is pressured by bossy girlfriend Patty Di Marco (bitchily played by Sarah Silverman) to give Dewey an ultimatum: Get a "real" job or move out. She's is an emotional vampire, sucking the life out of wussy Ned and licking her lips for more; she's sort of a less malignant version of Melissa, the girlfriend from hell who browbeats poor Ed Helms in The Hangover. If you’ve ever caught her offbeat The Comedy Network’s The Sarah Silverman Show, you'll find her shrewish performance here is quite a departure from her own slacker persona.

With eviction on the horizon, Dewey is on the brink of spiralling depression until opportunity knocks... or rather, rings. He receives a call intended for Ned and after learning that a few weeks of teaching will earn the money he owes, steals Ned's substitute teacher job by impersonating him.

At first, our scruffy scalawag has no respect for the teaching profession, dismissing it as easy money for babysitting a bunch of kids. But when he finds himself teaching fifth grade at a prep school run by the tightly-wound Principal Roz Mullins (the always excellent Joan Cusack), it's a rocky start, and he has to scramble fast to keep up the charade. He might be able to fool Principal Mullins, but these kids are no fools. Movie kids never are.

Awkward and unprepared, he tries to give his students nothing but free time, but as most of us recall, time in a classroom goes slower than spectator golf. It's only when he accidentally overhears their music class that Dewey realizes that some of his students actually have talent, and gets a brilliant idea, telling them that they're going to do a class project called "Rock Band". Not only does it sort of get him off the hook, but he sees an opportunity to create his own band to enter the Battle of the Bands Contest and avenge his ousting from his old band by winning the $20,000 prize. True to 'teacher movies' of this type, Dewey (or "Mr. S", as he calls himself after an unsuccessful attempt to write 'Mr. Schneebly' on the board), finds himself bonding with his students, and even remembering their names by the time the credits start to roll. Aw... nobody saw that coming, did they? Gosh, I sure didn't!

But it's the way he does it that's a joy to watch. Not everyone is musically gifted, so he assigns them real jobs: roadies, security, special effects, costumes, sound, etc. Even groupies (or "cheerleaders" as he describes them to an understandably unimpressed student) get to name the band, and design t-shirts. And just what do you do with a colossally unmusical Type A ten-year-old who threatens to blow the whistle on you for trying to make her a groupie? Why, make her the band manager, of course.

When Mr. S asks the 'musical' ones who their influences are, he's appalled by the answers. When he hears, "Christina Aguilera", you can just see his little rockin' heart breaking. Imagine his reaction to American Idol. That's when he gets serious and decides to expose them to what he considers to be real rock: The Beatles, Janis Joplin, Pink Floyd, AC/DC, and especially Jimi Hendrix, Iggy Pop, and Kurt Cobain. He teaches them the joy of expressing their creativity and stickin' it to the Man. As you'd expect with a 'teacher movie', everyone changes in one way or another. The kids learn to loosen up and feel the joy of challenging themselves. They need him, or there's a chance they'll end up beaten down by convention and rules like poor Ned - especially one young boy who is constantly browbeaten by his humourless father. Boy, does he need a different father figure. Dewey changes too, without compromising who he is. More importantly, he learns when to lead and when to graciously step aside, to be an effective leader and guide their talents so that everyone can contribute to the band and feel a real sense of accomplishment.

Gee... do you think our boy Dewey has found his calling?

Joan Cusack more than holds her own with the more flamboyant Black as the uptight principal with a secret rocker-chick side. She has had a great career as a screen sidekick, and I really wish she would get her own movie. With her wonderfully expressive face and gangly Olive Oyl limbs, she may not be "Hollywood" beautiful, but she's every bit as talented as her brother John and easily steals every scene she's in, including those as Melanie Griffith's gal pal in 1988's Working Girl. She can certainly act better than baby-voiced Griffith, that's for sure. But that's another review... maybe.

It's to Mike White's credit and utter lack of vanity that he lets everyone else eat the scenery. As a writer of such character-based gems as Chuck and Buck, The Good Girl, and Year of the Dog, White is smart enough to let Jack Black do his thing, and then very timidly reminds us that he's there as the unappealing yin to Dewey's yang. Like Ed Helms’ hen-pecked character in The Hangover, Ned is completely cowed and unable to stand up to a female bully. But unlike the other guy, he is so contemptibly weak that you really don’t feel like saving him. It’s too much fun to watch.

“Dewey, maybe you should give up those dreams. I mean, I did..." Ned glances nervously at his fiercely approving fiancée and lamely finishes, "and things are going really great for me." He desperately believes that his path is the smarter, more sensible one, even though he's sure to die slowly from the inside. Patty's thirsty, and she's got that soul-suckin' straw ready.

Even his so-called ‘best friend’ has affectionate contempt for him. Note what Dewey wears on his first day of teaching; the tweedy 'teacher outfit', complete with cardigan, Orville Redenbacher bow tie, and hair neatly combed and parted to the side is ridiculously reminiscent of dorky Archie Andrews from the 1940s comics. It's so strange to see Jack Black with his hair combed, but perfect for the character. With his low opinion of Ned's profession, this is exactly what Dewey Finn would imagine a substitute teacher to look like. He probably dunked Ned's head in a few toilets before they became friends in school. I can just see grade-school Dewey offering 'protection' in exchange for the Anemic One to do his homework for him. It’s safe to assume that he likely recruited Ned as a band member earlier, which is why the photo of Rocker Ned-before-Patty looks hilariously pathetic. And how else could we possibly imagine Ned as a rocker before Patty got her hooks into him?

The Jack is wild here - he's a dervish and force of nature. He's like the illegitimate offspring of John Belushi, Meatloaf, Wolfman Jack, and the Tazmanian Devil. He's practically a cartoon character. Watch the way his eyes dart around as he's scheming, how those beetled eyebrows do a weird 'wave' from one end to the other, especially when he listens to the kids' music class. With a lesser actor, it would be cheap mugging but Black is too good for that, and never winks at the audience. He reminded me of Bill Murray's Tripper Harrison in 1979's Meatballs, another cheerfully anarchic character who inspires the sad sack youngsters in a crappy summer camp to thumb their noses at the Man.

Black shows chops as a serious actor and dials it way down when acting across from thespian heavyweights Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Jason Leigh in Margo at the Wedding (2007), as well as in King Kong (2005) with Naomi Watts. Like fellow madman Jim Carrey, he can do more than just mug and cavort for the camera. I remember watching an old X-Files episode (D.P.O. Season 3, Episode 3) and being completely taken by surprise when I recognized a young Jack Black as the villain's clueless best friend. I should have known then that this guy was lightning in a bottle - it was just a matter of time before someone let it out.

The kids are marvels. Despite being having no professional acting experience, they seem to enjoy working with Wild Jack, and though nobody is likely to pull an Anna Paquin, no one falls into the pit of dreadful kid-acting that seems to permeate Disney's Family Channel either. Best of all, there’s no air guitar or lip-syncing here. They play their own instruments and believably evolve from amateurish band standards to a bona fide rock performance.

In my opinion, the PG-13 rating is too strict. It’s a great family film, and everyone (maybe seven and older) can enjoy it. If anything, maybe your kid will stop bugging you for Guitar Hero™ and ask to learn to play a real instrument.

If not, well, just smile and let them find out the hard way when they throw themselves into a mosh pit and nobody bothers to catch them.

THE ARISTOCATS (1970)

2009-07-05T04:58:00.000-07:00

* * 1/2

General. 78m, USA

D: Wolfgang Reitherman. Phil Harris, Eva Gabor, Sterling Holloway, Scatman Crothers, Liz English, Dean Clark, Gary Dubin, Paul Winchell, Monica Evans, Carole Shelley, Nancy Culp, Hermione Baddeley, Pat Buttram, George Lindsey.

Tagline: DIG THESE CATS...and all that JAZZ!

The Aristocats is a sentimental favourite of mine. I remember loving it and begging to see it over and over when I was four. Those were the days when Disney only released its animated classics once every seven years. There were no videos or DVDs to look forward to a couple of months later. You had to see the movie at the theatre at the time of release, and if you missed it, you didn't see it again until you hit puberty. And you thought waiting for Christmas morning was bad enough.

The story opens in 1910 Paris, with Maurice Chevalier warbling the title song; then we see an elegantly coiffed old woman ride in a horse-drawn carriage with her family of pampered cats. Chevalier's singing voice is horribly, nasally French – and with a name like mine, I can say that with impunity - he was good in Gaslight, but ever since seeing his leering lothario purring, "Thank Heaven for Little Girls" in 1958's Gigi, he gives me the willies.

Madame Bonfamille, a retired actress/opera singer (which, in those days wasn't far removed from being considered a prostitute), lives a comfortable life of luxury in a big townhouse with Duchess and her three rambunctious kittens. Mother Duchess (Eva Gabor), a beautiful white lady cat, is as refined and elegant as her mistress. The Aristokits are cute, squabbling siblings, all wearing different coloured bows and ribbons to show how wuvved they are. Ginger kit Toulouse is the artistic, pugnacious one, grey kitten Berlioz bangs a mean keyboard, and prissy little Marie, who's a fluffy white miniature version of her mother, is a precocious romantic whom we later discover has the beginnings of an Electra complex. True to the way girl characters were portrayed in the days before Kim Possible, she often gets in the way and needs to be saved from danger.

Madame invites Georges Harcourt, an elderly lawyer (it's hinted that he may also be an old beau) to her home to write her will. How she got this old and rich without even thinking about wills until now will remain a mystery. When the lawyer arrives, Edgar the butler admits him inside the mansion and has to assist the old boy up a 99-stepped staircase when he pooh-poohs using the elevator instead. I wondered, why not install a motorized chair alongside the wall, like Mrs. Deagle? Finally, he makes it to her parlour, and Edgar eavesdrops as Madame instructs Georges to put her cats in the will, then stipulates that dear, faithful Edgar shall inherit her fortune only after the kitties die.

Edgar, who was a good sport before, is naturally pissed off. With his awesome math powers, he realizes that with all those nine lives times four, that he'll never get his mitts on the money before kicking the bucket himself. So he decides to dope the cats' milk (and Roquefort, their mouse buddy by accident) and take them for a little ride in the countryside to 'disappear'.

Not that I blame him for not wanting to wait until the cats shop ‘til they drop, spending millions of francs, but wouldn't it have been smarter to kill Madame and the cats all at the same time and then dump the bodies into the Seine River? Or how about disguising the cats by dipping them in soot, like in 101 Dalmations? But that's just me and my evil brain.

In his attempts to help poor ol' Edgar, my equally evil brother suggested, "Why not wait until Madame dies and the kittens are in his care! Wait a few weeks and then start adding drainer fluid in the cat's milk. Poison them gradually so it looks like they're sick. The best part is he'd be home alone doing this." Upon further discussion, he also suggested dropping each cat in different parts of the country so they don’t get recognized as a ‘group’ of missing felines.

Edgar couldn't get into our gang of criminal masterminds.

Later that night, the cats wake up near a river in a storm, and are terrified and baffled as to how they got there, even though Toulouse keeps saying, "I bet it was old Edgar." Meanwhile, back at the mansion (or as I like to call it, The Cat Cave), Roquefort miraculously wakes from his drugged slumber and dons his cute li’l little Sherlock Holmes outfit and investigates the case of the missing cats, but gets nowhere. It even makes the headlines of the local papers, which is strange. Um, slow news day? Also, if his tiny body mass absorbed the same dosage as the cats, how come it didn’t kill him outright? Now, there’s a case for this Mouse Detective. It could be like D.O.A., that old 1949 noir thriller where Edmond O’Brien is poisoned and has only a few hours to find out who murdered him before he croaks. Alas, ol' Diz never took risks.

Jungle Book alumnae Phil Harris lends his easygoing voice to the O'Malley, a roguish but charismatic alley cat who gets the hots for Duchess and gallantly agrees to help her get home, and reluctantly lets the kids tag along. Eventually, he develops a paternal affection for the little cock-blockers. Hmmm… reddish Toulouse looks an awful lot like him. In fact, none of her kids resemble each other in either fur or eye colour. Maybe Duchess was an "actress" too.

Along the way, they meet a psychotic milkman, and in a scene similar to Stand by Me, barely escape getting mowed down by a train. Marie keeps falling into harm's way and constantly needs to be rescued by O'Malley, who in turn needs to be rescued from Adelaide and Abigail Gabble, a pair of giggly geese on a walking tour of France (Monica Evans and Carole Shelley, doing a slight variation of their shtick from their roles in 1967's Robin Hood). Finally, O'Malley finds a Best Western motel or his 'pad' - don't you just dig that beatnik jive in 1910 France? Then, in the film's most enjoyable sequence, introduces the family to Scat Cat (Scatman Crothers, who voiced King Louie in The Jungle Book in 1967) and his band of jammin’ alley cats. The scene looks like it was shot with coloured cellophane and acid, but it's way more exciting than the catnapping subplot. And I love the way the Scat Cats "crashed" the party.

The music is a mixed bag of French café musack and weird “Disney rock” - that strangely generic "mod" sound that hopelessly square producers invented - sort of Lawrence Welk with sped-up wow-wow-wow guitars, drums, and a pulse. Eg: You may have heard Hayley Mills "rocking out" in “Let’s Get Together” in The Parent Trap. Yes, Disney was still trying to be ‘hip’ with the 1960's "swingers" set, even though the story was set in 1910. He did it again in Robin Hood and Jungle Book. Like, groovy, Daddy-O!

There are a couple of sequences where Edgar encounters two country dogs named incongruously dubbed Napoleon (Pat Buttram) and Lafayette (George Lindsey). There's a point to these scenes, but they simply drag on too long for attention spans shorter than the lifespan of fruit fly - namely mine. Though episodic, and with mild racial sterotypes which you might have to explain to the kiddiwinks, The Aristocats is still lively enough to keep the kids' attention without insulting their intelligence (or yours), and a lot of fun, especially when the cats jam in O'Malley's 'pad' with "Everybody Wants to be a Cat". Young children will enjoy it, and it's a worthy addition to their DVD library. And those who grew up treasuring Disney classics will enjoy it too.

The whimsical artwork is charming, and has more of a watercolour medium than the richer tones of other films. The characters are appealing and memorable. The voice actors were mostly veterans from past Disney features, and they all do a terrific job, especially Phil Harris as O'Malley, who seems to channel his "Baloo" persona and infuse it with a pick-up artist on the make who just happens to be a romantic and is genuinely surprised to discover that he's actually good with kids. Eva Gabor (who would voice Miss Bianca in the The Rescuers movies years later), is fine as Duchess, though the character herself is more pretty than interesting. The kittens all have different personalities, although Marie undoubtedly stands out the most. Just check out all the "Marie" merchandise at any Disney store. I'm surprised it's not called "Marie's Place" instead.

Hmmm... sounds like a whorehouse in the Old West, doesn't it?

Comedy: Do you take it black?

2009-07-01T17:02:00.000-07:00

Black comedy is not for everyone. It's not "nice", nor is it gentle or comforting. It pokes fun at subjects that aren't considered humourous at all, like violence, death, religion, politics, love, the power of the human spirit, etc. And on their own, these things are not funny. So why do some of us laugh at this stuff on the silver screen?

Don't get me wrong. I'm as horrified as anyone else about real-life evils such as war, abuse, terrorism, and death. I like to think I'm a good person. I don't really want to hurt anyone. Real-life violence is not acceptable, ever. But being human, I do get angry, and need an outlet so I can smile at people who piss me off and avoid prison.

But... if you're anything like me, you also want to be assured of love and decency in the world, that good people do exist and the exceptional ones will step up and be heroes, like Harriet Tubman, those who gave sanctuary to prosecuted Jews during WWII, firefighters who risk their lives to save others, etc. You know, the real heroes. You want to believe that the bad guys will be punished as they should be in real life. You want to be the New Sheriff in Town, and smite evil in the messiest, more satisfying way possible. Or maybe you want to play Bad Hat for a couple of hours, and rip into the dillholes who make miserable for others, or even boring characters who represent their real-life counterparts in your life and drag you down. Perhaps you watch horror movies and black comedies in order to calm your fears and cope with the real monsters. Whatever it is, you're not a bad person. It's your coping mechanism, that's all. At least, I hope so.

One of my favourite sayings is this: I know how to be evil... I just choose not to be.

Sooooo....

You will hate these films if:

... you just want to be diverted for a couple of hours, but dislike conflicts more complicated than cute misunderstandings and pratfalls.

... you prefer light, non-threatening stories with "America's Sweetheart"-type actresses like Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan or Sandra Bullock as a bland, generically pretty heroine who somehow finds Twu Wuv with an equally bland, generically handsome hero.

... you think movie violence in Bugs Bunny cartoons is just awful. They were right to cut the scenes of Daffy Duck blowing his beak in twenty different directions. And Tom and Jerry should learn to co-exist. And share. And discuss their differences until they alienate their bloodthirsty fans.

These might be too much for the timid or the staunchly virtuous. If you're like Barbara Bush and don't want to waste your beautiful mind, that's your right. I still love you. We just can't go to the movies together, that's all. But if you're willing to look in a dark mirror, you may find some kindred spirits here.

American Psycho (2000) * * * 1/2
Former child actor and future Dark Knight Christian Slater shot to stardom with this nihilistic stab at 80's consumerism. This is about as far into a psychopath's head as you want to go.

Bad Santa (2003) * * *
Billy Bob Thornton won't just give you coal, he'll make you eat it.

Barton Fink (1991) * * * 1/2
The Coen Brothers knock the smugness out of a conceited playwright and that''s just the beginning of this Faustian tale.

Fido (2006) * * *
In this bizarro universe, zombies are not killed, they're programmed to serve the living. Carrie-Anne Moss is adorable as a chipper 50's mom who takes a shine to "Fido", a mild-mannered zombie.

Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) * * *
A hitman (John Cusack) decides to attend his 20th high school reunion.

The Hangover (2009) * * * 1/2
Crude but hilarious road movie about a quartet of guys who go to Las Vegas for their buddy's bachelor party. A few drinks later, they wake up in their hotel room in chaos (including a man-eating tiger in the bathroom!) and the groom-to-be missing.

Heathers (1989) * * * 1/2
Wynona Ryder and Christian Slater wreak havoc upon cliques and high school hierarchy. This is Mean Girls with a shot of Drano.

Hot Fuzz (2007) * * * *
Simon Pegg is a humourless by-the-book policeman who is reassigned to a seemingly peaceful hamlet as 'punishment' for making his colleagues look bad. Lots of fun cameos from character actors in classic horror films like The Omen and The Wicker Man.

Parents (1989) * * *
In the bland conformist 50's, Randy Quaid is Dad, a bland, sinister patriarch in a family who only wants to take care of his family and raise his little boy to be Just Like Him. And just what does Daddy do at the plant?

Raising Arizona (1987) * * * *
Another early hit from those wascally Coen Brothers: A chronic criminal (dumb but lovable Nicolas Cage) and the tough cop he marries (a fiercely baby-crazed Holly Hunter) are unable to have children - so they steal one. This is like Bonnie and Clyde crossed with a Warner Bros. cartoon.

Serial Mom (1994) * * *
Kathleen Turner is a sweet old-fashioned mom who's fiercely, murderously protective of her family and her warped sense of right and wrong.

Shaun of the Dead (2004) * * *
This British gem launched Simon Pegg into stardom. He's a guy with parent and girlfriend issues, plus he has to deal with a zombie uprising.

To Die For (1995) * * *
A vapid, narcissistic weather girl (Nicole Kidman) decides that her dull hubby is an obstacle to her career. So she enlists a trio of high school outcasts to get rid of him. Sharply skewers television, fame, and the media.

Very Bad Things (1998) * * *
A bachelor party goes horribly wrong when a stripper/hooker is accidentally killed and the guys have to scramble to hide the body.

The War of the Roses (1989) * * * 1/2
Danny DeVito, Michael Douglas, and Kathleen Turner join forces in this poisonous valentine about a divorcing couple who go to extreme measures to possess the house.

Young Adult (2011) * * * 1/2
Dark comedy-drama about Mavis Gary (Charlize Theron), a 30-ish former prom queen who returns to her old small town to recapture her glory days -- and an ex-boyfriend (Patrick Wilson), even though he is happily married with a new baby. Patton Oswalt shines as Mavis's outsider drinking buddy who can't help being fascinated by the train wreck unfolding in front of him. Loved this film, but it's not for all tastes. Mavis is a horrible person -- completely self-absorbed and oblivious to social cues, but that's what makes her so much fun to watch. If you enjoyed Juno (same screenwriter Diablo Cody), To Die For (similar character was played by Nicole Kidman), Greenberg, and other anti-hero films, check it out. Others beware.

THE HANGOVER (2009)

2009-06-22T01:10:00.000-07:00

* * * 1/2

R. C-100m. USA.

D: Todd Phillips. Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, Heather Graham

Tagline: Some guys just can't handle Vegas.

Two days before their buddy's wedding, four guys drive to Las Vegas for a bachelor party, check into an expensive hotel suite, and set out to go drinking and gambling. Several hours later, three of them wake up to find their room completely trashed with a wandering chicken, a tiger in the bathroom, a baby in the closet, a hospital bracelet, a diamond belly-button stud, a missing tooth, and absolutely no memory of how they got into this situation.

Doug (Justin Bartha), the groom is missing, forcing his best friends Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms), and future brother-in-law Alan (Zach Galifianakis) to retrace their steps and find him before the wedding. Doug is more of a catalyst than a character, and is fairly nondescript. Actually, he's hardly in the movie; even the baby (who has a gnomish cuteness) gets more screen time than he does. Prospective father-in-law Sid (Jeffrey Tambor from It's Gary Shandling's Show!) lends him his prized silver Mercedes with a wink and a promise that "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas". He also makes Doug swear that he will be the only one to drive it, much to the others' chagrin.

Phil, good-looking and confident, is a teacher, married with a kid and itching for some excitement. He's so bored with his suburban existence that he thinks nothing of stealing funds for the students' field trip to fund the bachelor party, and constantly warns Doug that once he's married, all he'll look forward to is dying a little each day. But despite his cynicism, you sense that he is genuinely concerned, especially when Stu reverently takes his grandmother's ring out of his pocket (that she had worn in the Holocaust) and announces his plans to propose to his girlfriend after the wedding. Phil mutters, "I think you're making a big mistake." His hooded eyes and sudden silence afterward show that this warning isn't just another variation of teasing his buddy about losing his freedom to The Joys of Married Life.

Stu, a repressed dentist, is terrorized and dominated by his abusive girlfriend Melissa (Rachael Harris), and so cowed that he promises to answer his cellphone whenever she calls. He even lies that the bachelor party will take place in wine country, and that the guys will be staying in a quaint little bed-and-breakfast inn. We can’t blame Stu, whose conservatism threatens to snap along with him, because even if he was forthright, Melissa would have definitely forbade him to go to Vegas. She is a fingernail short of declaring, “You’ve lost all your Nevada privileges!”

It gets worse. Stu makes excuses for her cheating on him on a cruise with a bartender ("She was wasted."), and beating him ("To be fair, I was out of line."). She grimly plays on his insecurities in order to ensure her dominance, constantly keeping him off-balance, like coldly pulling away when he tries to kiss her cheek. I hated this woman - it's a credit to Harris's delivery that she makes Melissa such a toxic, verbally abusive bully, yet a caricature in sync with this comically vicious world. I couldn't figure out why these two were together, unless she'd clubbed and dragged his nerdy carcass to her lair. This witch is so vile that she could’ve sucked a guy's soul through a straw.

In contrast, Heather Graham brings a sweet sexiness and warmth to her role as Jade, a good-natured stripper/hooker who accidentally marries Stu. His rigid, fearful nature likely arrested his social development and attracted Melissa, who no doubt smelled chum in the water. He is initially unable to accept the possibility that he might actually be happy with Jade, despite her profession. I just wanted to say, "Dude, loosen up!" and feed him a few bottles of laxatives.

But compared to the other females in the movie, she's the embodiment of that impossible ideal: The Perfect Woman. You know, sweet, caring, uncomplicated, and hot. She does a topless scene, but it's hardly erotic. In fact, it will likely make a lot of people cringe.

The last member of the group is Alan, a tubby, socially backward schlub who is somehow very sympathetic. He's so desperate to belong and have 'a wolf pack' that he writes a speech about it in a toast. There's something off-putting, yet sweet about him. Understandably, the guys don't particularly want him around, though Doug tolerates him, since they'll be brothers-in-law soon. You just know this guy was bombarded with dodgeballs of one kind or another all his life. Thanks to Galifianakis' deft delivery, his potentially creepy man-child character becomes the heart of the gang... and the movie. He's so sincere that you just want to rip up that pesky ol' restraining order and invite him to join the fun.

Here is an example of his innate decency: When Stu wails, "I lost a tooth! I married a whore!", Alan is genuinely offended on her behalf. "How dare you! She's a nice lady!"

He has the best lines, which I won't reveal here because a) they're mostly tasteless and b) they're way funnier coming from Alan than me. Except this one:

Stu: She's wearing my grandmother's ring! The one that she had from the Holocaust!

Alan: I didn't know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.

When he says this, he is not being sarcastic or disrespectful; Stu had shown the other two the ring earlier, before Alan had joined them, so he doesn't know about it until after Stu spots the ring on Jade's finger when they stop by her motel room. This is the first time the ring was mentioned in his presence, and he is honestly surprised that Stu's grandma had gotten a "souvenir".

I predict a successful career for him. He's sort of a sweeter version of Seth Rogen, and like Rogen, steals every scene he's in.

I don't usually like low-brow comedies unless it's 2:30 am and I'm so tired I'll laugh at anything, but this is much better than the limitations of this genre usually allows. Ed Helms, a longtime character actor who gets secondary roles, shines in his first time carrying a comedy. He has also found a niche for his real missing tooth. If you liked Wedding Crashers, Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall or The 40-Year-Old Virgin, The Hangover is a good bet. Obviously, this is not for children or the easily offended. It's a crude comedy, but redeems itself by actually being funny. In less capable hands, this would have turned into a bad frat boy fiasco. Unlike comedies of this sort, it's not so much mean-spirited as cheerfully hedonistic. And the real love story is the one between the guys who learn to value each other, no matter how stupid or disgusting they are. It's about celebrating those crazy friendships that some people are lucky enough to have - the stuff of fond memories. The girls back home, however, just don’t wanna have fun.

As one character declares, "This is what guys do."

DUEL IN THE SUN (1946)

2009-06-16T17:49:00.000-07:00

* * *
PG C-129m and 144m (roadshow version). USA
D: David O. Selznick
Jennifer Jones, Gregory Peck, Joseph Cotten, Lionel Barrymore, Lillian Gish, Butterfly McQueen, Walter Huston, Charles Bickford

Tagline: Emotions... As Violent As The Wind-Swept Prairie!

At the time of its release, Duel in the Sun was nicknamed "Lust in the Dust". It could have been called "Twin Peaks", given the attention to the leading lady’s constant heaving bosom! This 1946 David O. Selznick picture is a western soap about how ill-fated passion consumes a beautiful 'half-breed' and a brutish outlaw. That pretty much sums up the plot. It's campy fun for classic movie fans, but also sets itself up for ridicule. The dialogue is ripe with howlers. The standouts are deathbed scene (when the dying character actually crawls out of bed to comfort another) and the final shootout.

This belongs with the best of the 'so-bad-it's-good' movies. Far from boring, it's bigger than life, albeit silly and pretentious. In the right frame of mind, you can have a good time with this. If this film had been made today – heaven forbid – the results would be less than bearable. Try to imagine, instead of Gregory Peck and Jennifer Jones, we had George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez, reunited after Sodenbergh’s Out of Sight (1998). Better yet, imagine George Clooney groping Jennifer Love Hewitt playing a Mexican for a thoroughly faithful remake. The star power gives Duel in the Sun a boost. These are terrific actors (with the exception of the lovely but dramatically-challenged Jennifer Jones) trapped in a bad movie.

Jennifer Jones plays Pearl Chavez, a fiery young girl of sweet sixteen who is orphaned after her aristocratic father is hung for the murder of her Cherokee mother and her gambler lover. Pearl is sent to live as the ward of her father’s old love, Laura Belle (Lillian Gish, giving her usual long-suffering performance), who is now married to bigoted senator Jackson McCanles (Lionel Barrymore). Their two grown sons are good guy Jesse (Joseph Cotten) and bad boy Lewt (Gregory Peck).

The girl harbours a girlish crush on gentle Jesse but Lewt decides he wants her. In fact, all men sniff around the poor girl, even her own father Look at the way he strokes her hair before playing hangman. He comes so close to whispering, “You smell like your mother!”

After catching Pearl lying about swimming with Lewt, Laura Belle summons a traveling preacher dubbed ‘The Sin Killer’ to cure her wild ward. Cripes. The woman is so condescending that it's ridiculous that she was supposed to be one of the 'good' characters! I hated her guts, especially in her scenes with Butterfly McQueen.

Pearl is dragged from her bed wearing nothing but a blanket to be exorcised. The ‘blessing’ is as follows:

Sin Killer: Pearl? You can be a woman of sin or a woman of God. Which is it to be?

Pearl: I want to be a good girl.

Sin Killer: And remember that the devil is always aimin' to hog-tie ya. Sometimes he comes ghostin' over the plains in the shape of a sneakin' rustler. And sometimes, beggin' your pardon Laura Belle, he stakes out the homes of the worthy and the god-fearin'. Pearl, you're curved in the flesh of temptation. Resistance is gonna be a darn sight harder for you than for females protected by the shape of sows. Yes siree, bob. You gotta sweeten yourself with prayer. Pray till you sweat, and you'll save yourself from eternal hell-fire. You understand me girl?

Pearl: Yes sir.

He gives her a medallion that promises to keep her ‘sweet and clean as the first milk’. When confronting her at the swimming hole the next day, Lewt throws it into the weeds, sneering, “I don’t want no milkmaid!”

Poor Pearl. Not only does she suffer racial slurs and sexual harassment, but she is patronized by everyone except the one person who could have given her the happiest of endings - a way out. Every time she reaches happiness and respectability (read: not Lewt's ho), something knocks her down and keeps her there. She's destined to be her mother's daughter right to the end. But Lewt is going to Hell and taking Pearl with him.

Selznick had obviously hoped to re-create the success of his 1939 classic, Gone with the Wind. The scenery, especially certain shots of the house will remind viewers of Tara. The character of good brother Jesse is just another reincarnation of Ashley. Pearl even throws a hissy fit and runs from the house. Just like Scarlett did after she finds out that Ashley Wilkes is engaged to Melanie. He even casts GWTW alumni Butterfly McQueen to play her usual dumber-than-a-bag-of-hair post-war slave - er...servant girl. This is a white man's 1880’s Texas, after all.

Oh, Davy! You just couldn't let go and make something new, could you? Sounds like someone you know, eh... Mr. Lucas?

This was anything but romantic to me. Lewt is handsome but spoiled, with a dangerous sense of entitlement. In his mind, everything on the land belongs to him, including Pearl. In the tradition of buttholes everywhere, he dismisses the idea of marrying a 'bobtail half-breed' because he fears for his reputation and the wrath of his racist father. Still, that doesn’t mean that she shouldn’t save herself for booty calls. At one point, he tells her menacingly, "Anyone who was my girl is still my girl." He must keep them all in a basement somewhere.

Despite the fact that she carries a torch for the noble (read: stuffy) Jesse, she is fatally attracted to a man who shares her lustful appetites. She knows he’s no good, but... She Just Can’t Help Herself! With insulting glibness, the movie hints and hammers that Pearl's ‘half-breed’ nature is to blame for her raging libido. Like mother, like daughter. Oh my. How deep.

One of the locals warns other men away from her, and declares, "No one marries Pearl Chavez until Lewt McCanles decides to give away the bride." How is that romantic? And when a woman in the movies has to choose between two men, why is the boring guy always the good one and the sexy one always a dangerous bully?

Part of the problem is miscasting Jennifer Jones, who was the lover and future wife of David O. Selznick at the time, so the casting couch can be blamed for this one. She constantly mugs for the camera. The most annoying mannerism of all was the way she averted her eyes. She never looks anyone in the eye. Ever! Her eyes are so pale against the dark face paint that she looks possessed. She reminds me of that creepy poster for The Eyes of Laura Mars (1978) (http://www.impawards.com/1978/eyes_of_laura_mars.html).
All that face and arm paint doesn’t hold up well under sweat. Near the end, after climbing sharp rocks and fighting for her life, she looks positively orange. In fact, you can have a drinking game and take a slug every time she a) tosses her hair, b) flashes her teeth, or c) sobs, rolling orgasmically on her bed.

The film has no nudity, but there's no doubt what goes on behind closed doors. See, that's what thunder and lightning are for! Or fireworks! I'm actually surprised Selznick didn't add a porthole or train tunnel shot somewhere. His work here is about as subtle as a combover.

Don't get me wrong. I love Gregory Peck, but his best performances were in quiet, heroic roles, such as Atticus Finch in 1962's To Kill a Mockingbird and Captain James McKay in 1958's The Big Country. He just isn't believable as the bad boy. He looks the part, and is especially yummy in spurs - I have a weakness for cowboys - as well as gladiators and pirates. Pardon me while I go fan myself. Ahem. He looks great until he opens his mouth and words come out.

Peck is woefully miscast as a southerner here, but he got it right in 'Mockingbird'. He has charisma and presence, but there's something off. It's like watching Atticus Finch try to play Stanley Kawalski. I admit I did burst out laughing when he started singing, “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad” after causing a train wreck. Ghoulish, but funny.

Don't worry about how long the movie is because much of the feature is padded out by an introductory overture and an intermission. Without those two interruptions, the film is a few minutes over two hours. Just hit 'fast-forward' during these parts and you'll be fine. After twelve minutes of the overture – yep, twelve long, agonizing minutes of listening to an overblown orchestra while staring at the profile of Squaw’s Head Rock against a blazing sunset, our narrator Orson Welles finally tells us the story of the doomed lovers.

When we watched the DVD, my movie aficionado brother – a tyrannical purist who would rather challenge than comfort those around him - insisted that we experience the movie "properly", despite the fact that Mom and I begged for mercy. Nothing doing. With only three more minutes to go, we came to an understanding when I threatened to make him watch The Lost Boys with his eyes forced open - ala Clockwork Orange. But never fear – he will pay... (twirls imaginary mustache) Yes, imaginary!

One unintentionally humourous moment to note is when Laura Belle looks at a photo of her sons as children. A crude arrow is scrawled under one kid, with "Lewt" printed underneath it. The filmmakers did that was for our benefit - wasn't that kind? Or maybe the woman can't tell which kid is which without her notes.

These actors have done much better work in their lifetimes - be sure and seek them out. They give it their all, but even these Hollywood giants can’t elevate this train wreck. Lionel Barrymore, in particular, has wicked fun doing a hammy impression of his Mr. Potter from It’s a Wonderful Life, again with a wheelchair. I used to wonder if he could walk in real life. It's pure camp, and certainly not the epic it promises to be.

I recently bought the DVD without seeing the movie first, which wasn't a losing hand but not much of a jackpot. Luckily, Mom loves old westerns too, so it found a good home.

DRAG ME TO HELL (2009)

2009-06-05T02:36:00.000-07:00

* * * *
PG C-99m. USA
D: Sam Raimi. Alison Lohman, Justin Long, Lorna Raver
Not recommended for children under 13 or sensitive viewers

Tagline: Christine Brown has a good job, a great boyfriend, and a bright future. But in three days, she's going to hell.

Uh-oh.

The first sentence of the tagline sounds like any standard date movie, doesn’t it? Just about every movie of this type sets us up to watch the Pretty Protagonist’s Picture-Perfect life get derailed by something – whether it’s a romantic or professional rival, a serial killer, or a mere Three’s Company-esque misunderstanding. But with the director of the Evil Dead movies, as well as 1998’s more bleakly thought-provoking A Simple Plan at the helm, you’re in good (bloody, nail-bitten) hands.

Boy, are you ever.

Christine Brown (Alison Lohman of Matchstick Men and Where the Truth Lies) is a nice young woman from the farm who is on the cusp on success in the big city. She has a promising career as a loan officer, with an excellent chance at a much-coveted promotion. Her boyfriend Clay, (Justin Long of the Mac ™ ads) is also nice – and a wealthy young college professor to boot. Is there such a thing? I mean, the guy’s in his early 20s – hardly old enough to drink, let alone wear elbow patches on his jacket.

But I digress. Clay is an affable dude, and cute in a nerdy way. He’s not movie-star handsome at all, but there’s something oddly endearing about him. I’m not just ragging on Justin Long – there’s a point. His characterization is just right, because the way Christine frets over their relationship, you’d think he was a Hollywood hottie. Clay is not out of reach, but the poor girl can’t help feeling that he’s out of her league, thanks to accidentally overhearing him talk to his overbearing witch of a mother on the phone, who urges him to stop fooling around with farm girls and find a "real partner".

Even his own family has an affectionate contempt for him – they don’t understand his hobby of collecting rare coins, for instance, but Christine does. You can see why he’s drawn to this sweet, unpretentious young woman who worked so hard to re-invent herself as an urbane sophisticate, and is still plagued by lingering insecurities of one not to the manor born. The term ‘personal demons’ takes a whole meaning after she meets Mrs. Garush (Lorna Raver, in a campily scene-stealing performance)

Poor, well-meaning Christine. She is compassionate and means well – the latter is actually one of her most infuriating traits, because it’s empty and useless when the damage is done. Like most of us, she truly believes that she’s a decent person and bewildered when she accidentally makes a dangerous enemy. She honestly doesn’t want to refuse a frail old lady with health problems an extension on her home. Mrs. Garush has a legitimate reason for not being able to pay her loan – anyone with an iota of compassion would give it to her, though they’d wear disposable gloves and spray the bank with Lysol ™ afterward.

If she had been a sweet-looking old granny, she might have elicited sympathy and a third loan extension. But not only does the promotion hovering over Christine’s head motivate her refusal, but her very revulsion of this smelly, dripping creature is certainly a factor. We all know that ‘beautiful people’ get preferential treatment in school, work, and the media. Christine is so anxious to get this thing out of her personal space that her natural compassion starts short-circuiting.

Mrs. Garush is a combination of Madame Zolta and the Crypt Keeper. Her nails ooze black blood and pus, and look like something out of the Saw movie posters. Her teeth are dead and rotting. Her dead eye, horribly mangled nails, slobbering gums, and… egad. She – it – is a gargoyle. A disgusting, pus-leaking old toad with dentures and a sweet tooth. She wasn’t just hit with the ugly stick, but bludgeoned with it. I’m a lookist – so sue me. I just wanted to slip on my disposable gloves, give her a good shake and plead, “Would it kill you to put on a little lipstick?” Lorna Raver is a great sport, and deserves special credit for her no-holds-barred performance. She takes a staple to the face like a champ – in fact, much better than Mickey Roarke in The Wrestler.

Our fresh-faced young loan officer is grossed out, but honestly wants to do the right thing, which is precisely the trouble. The ‘right thing’ conflicts with the right thing for her. But if she wants that promotion, she is told that the ideal candidate has to know how to make the ‘tough decision’. She does, and makes the worst call of her life.

A lot of her motivations are insecurity. As girl from the sticks, Christine has come a long way, but she still worries about deserving her good fortune. And that’s the question, really. Does she deserve it? And does she really deserve the wrath of a pissed-off gypsy with the worst personal hygiene since the Greed victim of Se7en?

Think about it. You might surprise yourself with the answer.

Christine doesn’t realize it, but she is a snob-in-the-making. Not that there’s anything wrong with self-improvement or ambition, but as warned by an Indian fortune-teller, she finds herself doing things she never dreamed of. She discovers that she has a grimly pragmatic side, and who could blame her? She’s forced into a corner and fights like a banshee, and just wait until she does. This movie has the best girl-fight scenes since the Kill Bill movies! She’s not Ash (of Evil Dead 1 and 2, and Army of Darkness ), but she’s still pretty groovy.

Sam Raimi doesn’t hold back on the goo and gore. You want shock ‘n’ schlock, you get it, boy. Houseflies… brrr. You’ll never sleep with the window open again. Raimi finds all kinds of ways to exchange bodily fluids that you’ve never thought of before. I’m a girl geek with a perchant for oddball horror films, and he knows the proper beats for horror and comic effect, so I was constantly caught off-guard.

I loved it!

Though hardly a ‘message movie’ – it’s really too disgustingly cartoony to be more than it claims to be – you might start thinking: How good is ‘good enough’? If you’re kind to animals and work hard to shed your unpolished past, can you re-invent yourself as a shiny new version? Is it really justifiable to make ‘the tough decisions’ as long as a) you’re way more qualified for a promotion than the toady who steals your work and b) a frail old woman doesn’t have the power to torture you with nightmares, maggots, and goat gods?

In lesser hands, you’d get a lame version of Richard Bachman’s (aka Stephen King’s) Thinner. The book was good. The movie was just so-so in comparison. But, bless his brilliant little diseased heart, Sam Raimi knows exactly what we gorehounds want and delivers the goods. From the in-your-face title introduction to an unexpected but perfect finish, Drag Me to Hell is both disgusting and hilarious. Raimi is like the Coen Brothers (and pre-Hook Steven Spielberg) that way – he makes the films he wants to make. He toys with our expectations, and is well aware that he has a loyal audience, and they want the laughs and the deliciously depraved, twisted moviemaking that has been his trademark for over thirty years. The Samster genuinely wants us to have a helluva good time.

Don’t worry… he’ll give you what you deserve.

UP (2009)

2009-06-03T00:51:00.000-07:00

* * * *
G C-96m. USA
D: Pete Dokter. Ed Asner, Christopher Plummer

The poster is great – the incongruous sight of a scowling old guy with a nose like a Muppet holding a balloon still cracks me up. The promotional trailers showed just enough to intrigue – a grouchy old man somehow launches his house into the air with hundreds of colourful helium balloons.

“So long, boys!” he crows, blowing a raspberry at his would-be captors. He has escaped, and settles into his armchair with a sigh of relief.

Then there’s a knock on the door.

A chubby little boy in a scout-like uniform is frantically clinging to the porch wall for dear life. “Hi, Mr. Fredrickson. Please let me in!”

The old codger considers the request, then decides. “No.” Slams the door.

A moment later, the door opens again. “Oh, all right!”

The terrified kid dashes inside.

Carl Fredrickson (Ed Asner, who practically invented the curmudgeon in his iconic role of grumpy editor Lou Grant in The Mary Tyler Moore Show) is the unlikely hero of this story. We first meet him as a squat, pug-faced (but kinda cute) little boy in a helmet and goggles as he raptly gazes at the newsreel starring his hero Charles Muntz (voiced by Christopher Plummer of The Sound of Music) – an explorer who mysteriously disappears soon afterward. He is the fragile link between two very different kids who discover that they have more in common than a shared hero worship.

Through a sweet montage, Little Carl meets the love of his life, a gap-toothed little girl named Ellie, whose imagination and zest for adventure is the catalyst of this tale. She’s a talkative little dynamo, the yin to Carl’s yang. There is a beautiful and heartbreaking sequence that takes the pair through decades of a truly wonderful life. Even the simple act of collecting the mail has meaning. If you ever wonder about the old widower (or widow) next door who wanders around lost and mutters to someone you can’t see, perhaps they had an extraordinary marriage like Carl and Ellie. Hell, even I wanted to marry Carl. In fact, this particular sequence reminded me of another happy marriage set in a similar time (though cut short by tragedy). See Monster House. No review here, but just rent the darned thing. It’s awesome.

But life happens, and Carl has to carry on alone. The happy home is like an extinguished candle. He’s aimless, depressed, and through one misunderstood (but totally understandable) act, is sentenced to losing his house and living in a nursing home with others like him, all waiting for visitors, waiting for death.

But Carl Fredrickson is one wily old guy. He was a balloon salesman in his younger days, and still has the equipment… which leads to a daring escape from two orderlies from the nursing home. Then he discovers that he has a stowaway.

This is one of the best animated adventure films I’ve seen. We take a wonderful, harrowing trip to South America and see foliage, animals, and temples that have obviously been lovingly researched and animated for this movie.

Up is driven by character, not events. Neither of the main older characters is the least bit grandfatherly – they don’t sit around in rocking chairs hollering, “Get off my lawn” and complaining about young people today. I really appreciate the fact these seniors aren’t resigned to passing the torch to the younger generation. They are just as complex, flawed, angry, loving, ambitious, and greedy as anyone. Not everyone mellows with age. Carl’s personality may have been soured by grief, but he is not a bad person. He’s snarky, entertains disturbing (but funny!) fantasies how to get rid of a certain annoying guest, and has inventive ways to using his walker and dentures. I love this guy.

On the other hand, I fully believe that if someone is a nasty jerk in their old age, they were likely a nasty jerk in their youth. Just because they’re slower, more wrinkled, and look like someone’s kindly old grandfather doesn’t mean that they can’t be evil. Bob Dylan once said, “Never trust anyone over thirty.” Boy, if he only knew…

Back to Carl: His actions make sense – not because a cyclone uprooted his house and set it down in a magical land populated by Munchkins and talking trees – but because of his former occupation as a balloon salesman and a life touched by a very special woman. This is truly about a dream shared by two people and how far one of them is willing to go to make it a reality, even without his soul mate. But even when Carl addresses his deceased wife – because we’ve met the strong-willed Ellie and briefly experienced their life together – we can almost see her too. There are no ghosts here – just effectively storytelling.

This is just the set-up. I do not want to spoil anything for you. This beautiful film celebrates life – all the small everyday pleasures, like sharing an ice cream, cloud-gazing, painting a room together, and not just yearning – but planning for adventure. It’s a buddy movie of opposites – which we’ve all seen before. It urges us, not only to appreciate small happy moments with your loved ones, but to realize that not all of life’s curveballs are bad ones, that you may not know you want something until you get it. Recognize the gift of having someone special in your life. Character-driven storytelling in a family film is rare today – but an expected staple in a Pixar movie. Pixar delivers a terrific film that is perfect for all ages. It’s emotional without being schmaltzy, and just a helluva a lot of fun. If you aren’t moved at all, you must have a shriveled raisin for a heart.

Just go and enjoy Up. It’s pure magic. And leave the curmudgeon in your life at home... unless he’s a balloon salesman.